We did it, Joe. We made it through another grueling year of a global pandemic (and white supremacy, and celebrity shenanigans, and all manner of political nonsense)…and all we got were these matching sweatsuits. So with a new year swiftly approaching, it’s understandable if you’re looking to hit “refresh” on this overcrowded browser called life, in hopes that some new year’s resolutions will usher in some overdue and (much-needed) new energy.
That said, as we all know all too well by now, life doesn’t care about our best-laid plans. In one way or another, we’ve all experienced dramatic changes to life as we knew it pre-2020—and even in a best-case scenario, it’s time to accept that some things will never be same. So why keep making the same old resolutions?
Our friend and bestselling author J. Elle already made her case for simply resolving to be the real you this new year, but we understand if the real you might also want to make some real changes in the coming year. With that in mind, consider this your non-traditional guide to making resolutions that actually feel manageable—and are guaranteed to make you feel good, too.
Respect the Process
We know: You’ve been feeling stuck, and have big plans to finally get out of your rut in 2022. (Trust, we empathize—deeply.) But whether you intend to “get-tight-and-get-right,” finally write that novel, hit those #travelgoals, meet the love of your life, score that dream job or start that business, big goals start with small changes—and progress predictably moves at its own pace. To borrow a bit of 12-step lingo, take it one day at a time—and maybe one new step a month, rather than an ambitious instant overhaul. While that may sometimes mean two steps forward, one step back (or vice versa), the point is to keep moving.
Get Your House in Order
Now here’s a New Year’s tradition we can get behind—literally and figuratively. Not only does deep cleaning your physical environment feel like a fresh start to the new year, but tending to your fiscal, mental and emotional houses can feel like a refresh, too. Stop procrastinating and set up those payment plans, clean up that inbox, purge those closets and junk drawers, and schedule those doctors’ appointments—including therapy, if you’ve been considering it. An organized life won’t happen overnight (see our previous slide), but things will definitely look better in the morning.
Prioritize Your Peace
If you weren’t already aware, “self-care” is more than the occasional mani-pedi or mental health day. Emotional equilibrium takes intention, whether that means starting a meditation practice, logging more hours offline than on, finding a creative outlet, walking away from habits and relationships that no longer serve you, or simply taking a full minute to process information before responding. You’ve already been told you should adjust your own oxygen mask before assisting others, so find out what makes you breathe easier—then, do that.
Maintain Your Boundaries
Listen, there’s a reason 2021 was the year of the “Great Resignation.” With lives literally on the line, it’s no wonder folks reassessed livelihoods rife with overwork, underpay, and little to no work/life balance. But while resigning isn’t always an option, redefining your boundaries is—at work and elsewhere in your life. It might require a few uncomfortable conversations, but go in armed with the knowledge that you aren’t obligated to be anyone’s sidekick, backup plan, punching bag, moral compass, counselor, chauffeur, unpaid assistant, emotional laborer or expert on race relations. If you’ve felt like any of the above, you should feel free to resign from that role this year.
Remember: Social Media ≠ Social Life
Yes, we realize it may seem antithetical to our current state of affairs to encourage a step back from the safe distance of the socials, but Black life can’t thrive on Black Twitter alone, friends. While social media can be a bevy of information, entertainment and engagement, let the reign of Trump be a cogent reminder that it can also be a hotbed of misinformation, toxicity, and pile-ons (and not just for QAnon and MAGA enthusiasts). “Cancel culture” might not actually exist, but it’s okay to cancel your standing appointments with the apps in favor of real conversations. (Smartphones still have other functions, right?) At the very least, consider muting those notifications every once in awhile.
Be Less Petty
Admittedly, this is a hard one, since pettiness is a national pastime for Black folks. But contrary to popular belief, holding onto a grudge does more damage to you than anyone else, so how about embracing a little more grace this year? To be clear: that doesn’t mean “forgive and forget.” It means forgiving (and fixing) what you can and getting whatever you can’t get over the hell out of your life, so you can move on—because living well remains the best revenge. Pettiness may feel powerful in the moment, but holding onto it means giving away even more power. So ask yourself: Are they really worth it?
Comfort Is Key—Cultivate It
Can we be honest? We think comfort gets a bad rap, especially when it comes to you relentless “goal-getters.” (Looking at you, LLC Twitter.) Conventional wisdom may advise “getting out of your comfort zone,” but two years working from home has taught many of us that comfort (along with a consistent sleep schedule) is key to maintaining mental health—as well as setting those aforementioned boundaries. What’s more: cultivating a comfortable environment creates the space to reach those aforementioned goals. (See what we did there?) So if you prioritized carving out a functional workspace during the pandemic, this year, make sure your off-work space still functions as a sanctuary where you can relax, relate and release… And if all else fails, we hear a few plants and a weighted blanket work wonders.
Retire Your Imposter Syndrome
Yo, it’s been a hellish couple of years, but if you’re reading this, you’ve made it this far—which in our book, makes you a bona fide G. If you’re not feeling your best these days, we relate, but remember: no external validation of your value is required. Update your resume, adopt a mantra, remind yourself why you’re dope via post-it notes (Being Mary Jane-style), or just put on your mediocre-white-man cosplay, but if you don’t hit another goal in 2022, make it the year you recognize your own worth—and watch who follows suit. Happy New Year!
Straight From 
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