Politics
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Something Mysterious Is Happening With Michael Cohen But No One Knows Because It's Locked in a Vault
Where is Geraldo Rivera when you need him to get to the bottom of some secret vault shit?! On Wednesday, someone filed a document with something about a criminal case involving President Trump’s former lawyer and forever duffel bag carrier, Michael Cohen. And no one knows who filed it or what it says because it’s…
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The Strange Story of Trump's Sham Foundation and a Signed Tim Tebow Helmet, Explained
President Trump is closing his personal money-laundering operation charity that used donations as if they were the president’s personal money while doing little if anything to actually help anyone other than the president. What’s baffling is that in 2016, shortly before Russia would hand Big Kompromat the election, Trump claimed that he was going to…
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Rudy Giuliani Claimed Trump Tower Moscow Wasn't a Thing. Then CNN Showed Up With Receipts
The president’s lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, is having a full-on showdown with the bizarro emperor of America to see who’s better at lying to the American public about everything. The funny thing is, both of them use the same deranged method of acting like everything is nothing. At this point, if both Trump and Giuliani were…
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Advertisers Are Leaving Tucker Carlson After Finally Realizing He Is Who He's Always Been
Fox News’ Tucker Carlson just proved that even a Fox News host can never go full racist, unless he’s Sean Hannity. Advertisers are reportedly dropping from Carlson’s primetime program Tucker Carlson Tonight after he claimed on his show, on Thursday, that immigrants make America “poorer and dirtier and more divided.” According to The Hollywood Reporter,…
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The Devil's Mouthpiece Says Trump Will Find Other Ways to Fund His Dumb Wall and We Have Some Ideas
President Trump doesn’t run the White House. He doesn’t run the Waffle House, Run’s House, the House of Pancakes or any house. And as such, once the president got home with the GOP lagging behind him, he calmly suggested—the way that suggestions sounds like a mom telling you to change out of your shorts and…
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Your President Is a Dullard Who Confuses Homophones
As a self-professed word nerd, one of my biggest pet peeves is confused homophones. There’s nothing like seeing a great meme on Facebook or Twitter and being unwilling to share it because the person put “there” when they meant “their” or “your” when they meant “you’re” or “hear” when they meant “here” or some such…
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Stephen Miller Should've Gone to a Black Barber, Instead He Sprayed-Painted His Scalp With White Man Bigen
Sunday was Stephen Miller’s big day. The White House decided to trot out President Trump’s senior policy adviser to speak on… who cares WTF he was there to speak on because no one could pay attention because Stephen Miller went on national TV in front of God and errbody sporting a white man bigen blackout.…
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Betsy DeVos to Pull Back Civil Rights Protections for Black Students Under the Guise of 'Safety'
Betsy DeVos continues her methodical dismantling of civil rights protections for vulnerable students, this time setting her sights on Obama-era guidelines put in place to protect black students from being disproportionately disciplined at school. As the Washington Post reports, a school safety commission formed shortly after February’s school shooting in Parkland, Fla., is expected to…
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Michael Cohen Might Spend His Time Behind Bars in One of America’s Cushiest Prisons Unless …
If you are white person sentenced for a white collar crime, then you want to do prison time at the cushy FCI Otisville. It’s all the rage. Located about 70 miles northwest of New York City, guests (prisoners) are treated to an array of physical activities including weights, cardio equipment, bocce ball and horseshoes. The…
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Stacey ‘Google Me’ Abrams Says She’ll Run Again, Was Most Searched Politician in US This Year
Stacey Abrams continues to let the people know she’s not taking her foot off these Republicans’ necks and will be running for office again. It might not be a bad idea—Abrams was the most Googled politician of 2018 in the U.S. People are checking for her, and for good reason. While declining to concede the…