Politics
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Trump’s Explanation for How Mexico Will Pay for Border Wall Is So Stupid Even Republicans Can’t Explain It
I don’t find Donald Trump’s boasts about graduating from the famed Wharton business school troubling. Even though he doesn’t have an MBA or a degree in business (he transferred to Wharton and only earned a bachelor’s in economics), as a fellow Ivy League graduate, I sympathize with him (during grad school, I had professors named…
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Michael Cohen Said Trump Made Him Break the Law. Trump Tweets Cohen Should Have Known Better
The president of people who buy gas-station hot dogs has awakened from his slumber, taken his morning bath in a mixture of antifreeze and peach Faygo, and started his daily tweeting regimen by explaining how he shouldn’t be held responsible for Michael Cohen’s illegal acts just because he may have told Cohen to break the…
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Nobody Should Be Talking About Beto and Gillum in 2020 Until We Understand Stacey Abrams in 2018
This past September at a Congressional Black Caucus party, I caught up with one of the main players of the “Stacey Abrams for Governor” campaign. I’d been covering the Georgia election from day one so I had a pretty honest relationship with most of the team. At that point, Abrams and Republican Brian Kemp had…
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Ann Coulter Wants You to Know She’s Still Trash
Ann Coulter has seen the recent uptick in blustery right-wing pundits who could place in Seabiscuit lookalike contests. After making headlines for slamming Donald Trump’s inability to build his long-promised border wall earlier this week, she’s back to claim her throne. Speaking to the destitute man’s Megyn Kelly, Coulter, the white character from the Good…
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The Dumbass President Really Thought Actor Christian Bale Was Bruce Wayne
When actor Christian Bale met Donald Trump, he couldn’t understand why he kept talking about how much they are alike, considering they’d both lost their parents and here he was living in Trump Tower and Bale was residing in Wayne Manor. Trump told Bale of his days as a single millionaire philanthropist but it wasn’t…
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Trump Accomplice Michael Cohen Sentenced to 3 Years in Prison
Despite singing like he’s the real king of R&B, President Trump’s personal fixer and former lawyer, also known as the human flea, Michael Cohen, has been sentenced to three years in prison for crimes committed during his tenure with dirty dog President Trump. During an emotional and teary-eyed plea to U.S. District Judge William H.…
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The Trump Administration Paid a Company $13.6 Million to Find Agents to Round Up Immigrants. They Hired 2 People
First, Trump created a war with Mexican migrants that could only be solved by building this dumb-ass border wall. Then Trump moonwalked back on campaign promises that Mexico would pay for this dumb-ass wall. Now Trump is threatening to shut down the government if he’s not given money for this dumb-ass wall, and while everyone…
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'Do Black Lives Only Matter in Election Years?' Ayanna Pressley Gives Democratic Donors the Talk They Need
The question for many newly elected politicians is whether they can keep the same energy they had on the campaign trail once their names are written on the office door. With Massachusetts Congresswoman-elect Ayanna Pressley, it appears that concern can be laid to rest. As BuzzFeed News reports, Pressley gave Democratic Party donors a stern—and…
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Trump Believes People Would Revolt If He’s Impeached. By ‘People’ He Means Wypipo
President Donald Trump really believes that if he’s impeached chaos would ensue. He honestly believes that his tiki torch mob would set this world ablaze and the world would stink of fire and brimstone. Also, what is brimstone and where can I buy it? It sounds evil and it’s usually associated with evil but I’ve…
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Nancy Pelosi Questions Trump’s Manhood. Presidential Rage-Tweeting to Begin in 3… 2… 1…
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.) are done attempting to play nice with the president. Come January, the Democrats will run the House and much like Kid and Play in the seminal classics House Party 1, 2, and yes, 3, they are about to dance battle all…