Politics
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Mitch 'Turtle Face' McConnell Changes Tune, Pushes For Criminal Justice Reform Bill Vote
Maybe the Conservative right is trying to play nice with the incoming Democrats taking over the house, or maybe because of Kim Kardashian (you know, the uber-famous basic white woman with the black add-on’s humanitarian efforts that freed unjustly incarcerated Alice Johnson), or maybe because it’s close to Christmas, but it looks like the criminal…
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No One Wants to be Trump's Chief of Staff Because the Job Sucks
As it turns out, the emperor has no clothes and no chief of staff because no one wants that miserable-ass job of being the Spliff Starr to the president’s Busta Rhymes. John F. Kelly bounced on the president’s ass mostly because he didn’t know that the chief of staff job meant changing the executive television…
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Trump Invited Democratic Leaders to the White House and It Was an Absolute Shit Show
For some reason unbeknownst to God and errrbody, President Donald Trump thought it was a good idea to host top House and Senate Democrats at the Oval Office. He invited the same Dems he openly mocks on his Twitter and made the meeting open to the press. Needless to say, it went south fast. Sitting…
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The President Lies So Much The Washington Post Invented a New Rating for His Mistruths
The president of people who enjoyed LL Cool J’s verse on Accidental Racist lies so much that Washington Post fact-checker Glenn Kessler has had to introduce a new rating called the “the Bottomless Pinocchio” for politicians like Trump “who repeat a false claim so many times that they are, in effect, engaging in campaigns of disinformation.”…
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It's Official: The President Is an Idiot and This Tweet Is The 'Smocking' Gun
President Donald J. Trump is a signed, card-carrying rage tweeter. Normally, when he’s rage tweeting about the Russia investigation, it’s easy to look past his grammar because it’s amusing to see him folding under the pressure of the investigation in real time. But early Monday morning, before the president donned his kaftan made from the hides…
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Donald Trump’s List of Failed Nominees Looks Like a CVS Receipt and Don Lemon Ran Out of Time Trying to Read It
By now I’m sure you’ve heard that yet another one of our Commander-in-Tweet’s nominees—former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson—has joined the likes of former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn, former campaign chairman Paul Manafort and lawyer Michael Cohen at the unemployment office. And with soon-to-be former Chief of Staff John Kelly likely to soon join…
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Contrary to What Donald Trump Says, He Has Not Been Cleared. He’s Been Implicated in a Federal Case
“Totally clears the President. Thank you!” Donald Trump tweeted Friday, shortly after news broke that federal prosecutors had made filings in the cases against his former attorney and fixer, Michael Cohen. For whatever reason, the “President” seems to think the filings exonerate him of any wrongdoing, but he is absolutely incorrect. The filing in Cohen’s…
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Rex Tillerson Calls the President a Dumbass. Trump Calls Tillerson a Lazy Bitch
The first-world fuss fight between President Bull Shannon and his former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson continues as Tillerson noted that President Kelly Bundy is, in fact, an idiot. What was actually missed from Tillerson’s rare public appearance during a fundraiser for the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center on Thursday, was that he believes that Russia…
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Donald Trump Jr. Attacks Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez With Ignorant Dog-Eating Meme
Donald Trump Jr. continues his quest for relevancy and his pointless push to outshine his father’s favorite offspring by posting highly offensive content to his Instagram account and then running to show his father how funny he can be. For some reason, Trump Jr. (aka Not-Ivanka) thought it’d be funny to post a meme to…
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Fox News' Tucker Carlson Turns On Trump: He's ‘Not Capable’ And Hasn’t Kept His Promises
President Trump must really be messing up when the frat-faced fuck boy Tucker Carlson, an employee of the president’s personal YouTube channel, Fox News, turns on him and actually begins sounding like he has an informed and unbiased opinion. Carlson told an editor at some German-language magazine“Die Weltwoche” he didn’t believe President Trump had kept…