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Pro Basketball Player Suspended After Drug Test Revealed He Was Pregnant
Former Ohio University standout Donell “D.J.” Cooper was trying to catch on with a team overseas when a drug test revealed that he was pregnant. Apparently, Cooper used his girlfriend’s urine to try to skirt a drug test and learned in bizarre fashion that the couple was expecting. Cooper was given a two-year suspension after…
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NY Mayor Bill de Blasio Reportedly Used NYPD Security Detail to Move Daughter Out of Apartment
New York Mayor and Democratic presidential long shot Bill de Blasio reportedly used members of his NYPD security detail to move his daughter out of her Sunset Park Brooklyn apartment. According to a source that spoke with the New York Daily News, de Blasio’s daughter Chiara was moved from her apartment on 4th Ave. and…
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Even Former United Nations Ambassador Nikki Haley Is Annoyed With Trump’s Trolling
When Nikki Haley thinks you’re being an asshole, you know you’ve gone too far. On Friday, after learning that Rep. Elijah Cummings’ (D-Md.) home had been burglarized, the perpetually petty president, whose emotional age is stunted somewhere between “I don’t like applesauce” and “Farting is funny,” couldn’t wait to hop on Twitter to poke fun…
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Filmmaker Michael Moore Wants America’s Favorite Black Woman to Save America From Trump
Filmmaker Michael Moore knows exactly who could save America from the racist president leaving his Florsheim prints all over the Oval Office desk, and that person, according to Moore, would “crush” President Donald Trump in 2020 “and her last name rhymes with Obama.” “In fact, it is Obama—Michelle Obama,” Moore said on MSNBC. “Everybody watching…
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Warped Flip-Flop Tomi Lahren Apologizes for Tweeting Sen. Kamala Harris Slept Her Way to the Top
Tomi Lahren, America’s unwashable mayonnaise stain and host of some shitty show on Fox News, couldn’t stand watching California Sen. Kamala Harris on stage. It messed with all of her sensibilities. It ruined her spidey senses. So what did America’s most dog chewed pair of Keds do? Well, she went on Twitter and struck the…
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Trump Retweets Some Bullshit and Twitter Suspends the Conspiracy-Laced Account That Posted It
Donald Trump is the president of the United States but he hasn’t let that job get in the way of his actual work—being a Grade A, self-centered Twitter troll. And as such, he has a tendency to retweet some of the most outlandish bullshit because he’s easily influenced and already compromised. On Tuesday, a most-likely…
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HUD Secretary Ben Carson Proves That a World-Renowned Pediatric Neurosurgeon Can Still Be a Bootlicker
Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson, aka “Tethered Ben Carson,” is continuing his mission to undo the legacy of Ben Carson, the world-renowned pediatric neurosurgeon. Carson agreed with President Trump’s claim that Baltimore was a “rodent-infested mess” during his battle with Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Md.). Apparently, Trump was upset with Cummings for doing his…
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President Trump Is a Modern-Day Forrest Gump
To hear the president tell it, he was with John F. Kennedy the night before he was shot and Trump warned JFK that riding in a convertible wasn’t a good move. Trump was also with Neil Armstrong on the moon, although he wasn’t pictured in any of the shots. Before the 1981 NFC Championship game,…
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Watch: Michael Irvin and Stephen A. Smith Argue Like Old Black Men With Receding Hairlines
Every now and then when two black men of a certain age get together and talk about sports, a shit ton of yelling usually ensues and is only stopped by one man yelling, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” These men are usually my uncles and this argument is usually about Washington, D.C.’s…
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Remember When Mike Pence Abruptly Canceled a Trip to NH? Turns Out He Was About to Shake Hands With a Drug Dealer [Corrected]
So get this: Remember earlier this month when Vice President Mike Pence was scheduled to appear in New Hampshire to give a talk on “on the opioid crisis and illegal drug flow in New Hampshire”? Well, it turns out that had Pence completed the trip, he would’ve hopped off of Air Force Two and shaken…
