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House Dems File Lawsuit to See How Much Trump Cheated on His Taxes
The Democrat-led House Ways and Means Committee is out here like Training Day-Denzel Washington and they putting cases on everybody. According to CNN, House Dems are suing the “Treasury Department, the IRS and their respective leaders, Steve Mnuchin and Charles Rettig,” to see the president’s tax returns and just how many dollars were converted to…
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Ivanka Trump Inserted Herself Into a G-20 Conversation With World Leaders and Thus #UnwantedIvanka Was Born
Like a stick figure drawn with a shaky hand on Picasso’s “Family of Saltimbanques,” Ivanka Trump, who was not elected to any office, attended the G-20 Summit and tried to make friends—except, she’s not a world leader. Despite being the daughter of a traitor whose presidency will always hold an asterisk next to his name,…
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‘America’s Dicktator’ Now Wants Tanks and a VIP Section to Destroy the 4th of July Celebration
President Donald Trump still doesn’t understand how democracy works. He doesn’t understand that just because Russia stole the 2016 presidential election and handed it to him that he can’t punish the press just because they don’t write favorable stories about his cow pie-esque administration, and that he can’t kill people unless it’s on foreign soil…
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Iran Shot Down an American Drone and Trump Does His Best Chuck Norris Impression; Claims They Made a ‘Very Big Mistake’
In every tough-guy movie, there is a scene where the tough guy—usually an old white guy—turns to his enemy and says something tough. Something like: “I’m going to kick you in the face. Really hard.” Or, “This time, it’s personal.” Or, some really goofy phrase like “I’m really going to try and fuck you up.”…
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Trump Rally Brings Out Far-Right ‘Proud Boys’ Wearing Matching Polos
Nothing says, “Take me seriously” like grown men calling themselves “boys” while wearing matching black and yellow polo shirts with stripes along the collar and a crest with the initials “PB” along the chest. For those not in the know, “PB” is known around the globe as “peanut butter.” According to the Daily Beast, on…
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‘Little Marco’ Trends on Twitter After Former Trump Nemesis Is All Smiles During the President’s Reelection Rally
Let’s all think back to early 2016: Trump wasn’t president and Hillary Clinton was poised to become the first woman to call all the shots. Marco Rubio and then-regular-New-York-pain-in-the-ass Donald Trump were engaged in a full-on bitchy barb of insults. From education to sweating to Marco’s tiny stature to Trump’s tiny hands and implied dick…
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The Benefits of Whiteness: Paul Manafort Won't Be Going to Rikers Island. He Can Thank the Department of Justice
Paul Manafort is a criminal. Paul Manafort is also a rich white man. Paul Manafort was supposed to be sent to Rikers Island while awaiting trial on New York State charges because that’s what happens when someone commits crimes in New York. But, Paul Manafort is also Trump’s former campaign manager. So, Paul Manafort won’t…
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Help! Trump Spoke to CNBC and I Don't Understand Anything He Just Said
The president of the United States gave an interview to CNBC and he sounded like a man who doesn’t know what the hell is going on. But what was even more concerning is instead of his usual word-salad, this was more like a word Chipotle bowl that was dropped on the floor and then kicked…
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Nancy Pelosi to Dems: I Don’t Want to See Him Impeached, I Want to See Him in Jail! Suurrrreeeeee She Does
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told Democrats during a meeting Tuesday night that President Donald Trump’s impeachment isn’t as high on her list as seeing President Donald Trump in prison. According to Politico, Pelosi reportedly made the remark after House Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler asked when, if ever, they could begin an impeachment inquiry. “I don’t…
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RIP Baby Trump Blimp: Woman Stabs Baby Trump Balloon and Is Promptly Arrested
On Tuesday, a woman stabbed a Trump baby blimp to death. A video shot by an onlooker and published by the British tabloid The Sun shows the woman, obviously a supporter of the Grand Wizard of the White House, stabbing the balloon that depicts President Trump in his most accurate depiction—as a baby wearing only…