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Trump's Doing It Again. And by 'It' I Mean Attacking 'The Squad'
The president of the United States is a… At this point I want to be outraged but the president of the United States is a joke and he’s exactly what racist white men and 53 percent of white women wanted in office. He’s all the negative things I could think of to describe him. All…
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Trump’s Selling Overpriced Straws to Idiots Who Drink Bud Light With a Beer Cozy
Nothing says “I stand with America” like doing coke off a Russian prostitute’s naked ass while using a Trump-branded straw, and thank God the president’s branding team saw fit to add his name and a ridiculous price tag to Trump straws! Fuck those liberal paper straws that don’t want to impeach the president. The Trump…
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Lindsey Graham: The President Doesn’t Want to Kick Out All Legal Citizens, Just the Ones Who Don’t Support Him
Watching Trump’s favorite footstool Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) twerk is becoming one of my favorite boredom activities. Wait, you’ve never seen Republicans twerk? Sure you have. That’s what I call it when they bend over backwards to support the president’s xenophobic, racist, immoral and unconstitutional policies and then begin talking out of their asses. Recently,…
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Democratic Hopeful Marianne Williamson Asked White Audience Members to Apologize to Black Guests for Slavery
I don’t know if 2020 Democratic presidential hopeful Marianne Williamson believes that she can win, but she’s certainly entertaining in her losing effort. To put it lightly, the spiritual guru, aka “girlfriend,” is kooky AF and while other Democratic nominees are vying for the black vote by offering reparations for slavery and student loan elimination,…
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Kellyanne Conway Goes on Unhinged Rant and Asks Reporter ‘What’s Your Ethnicity?’
I don’t know why we are forced to live in a world where Kellyanne Conway talks to reporters but this is the life Donald Trump has created. On Tuesday, Conway spoke to journalists—and things took a really weird turn. According to the Daily Beast, Andrew Feinberg, a writer for BeltwayBreakfast.com asked the White House counselor…
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Simona Halep Dominates Serena Williams in Wimbledon Finals, Proving That Even Superheroes Have Off Days
Superman has lost a fight. So has Wonder Woman. And Iron Man. On Saturday, Serena Williams, the closest thing America has to a superhero, suffered a staggering defeat to Simona Halep, in straight sets, 6-2, 6-2, keeping Williams from winning her 24th title. Need proof that Williams is a superhero? How about she hardly played…
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Tennessee Gov. Declares Day Honoring Slave Trader and Early Leader of the KKK
Tennessee Gov. Bill Lee tipped his hand, and it’s racist AF. For some reason that only Southern states will understand, Lee signed a proclamation declaring July 13 Nathan Bedford Forrest Day. Who in the fuck was Forrest? Well, just a Confederate general, slave trader and an early leader of the Ku Klux Klan, which might…
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Trump Doesn’t Know What Kidneys Are or Where They Are Located, Tells Crowd ‘The Kidney Has a Very Special Place in the Heart’
On Wednesday, President Horseshoe Von Dingleberry signed an executive order to aid those suffering from kidney disease in hopes of reducing the life-threatening disease by 25 percent over the next 11 years. The administration also promised to move patients on dialysis away from commercial treatments in centers to more low-cost, in-home treatments and will offer…
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Appeals Court Rules That President Troll Can’t Block People on Twitter Just Because They Say Stuff That Makes Him Mad
The president of the United States is a Twitter troll. He often uses his social media pulpit to call Congress members derogatory nicknames while defending his draconian administration. Well, the Second Circuit Court of Appeals on Tuesday ruled that if the Supreme Bitch can dish it than he’s got to be willing to take it…
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The Kardashian of Presidents Is Beefing With the Jordyn Woods of News Networks
President Donald Trump believes all news is fake news except the state-sponsored Russia Times Fox News, which the president considers a friend. The president and news anchors share lawyers and buzzard souffle recipes, so it was strange to see the Kardashian of presidents beefing with the Jordyn Woods of news networks. Over the weekend, Trump…
