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What If: What The Skippies Winners Would Be Wearing If We Could Actually Party

Close your eyes and think back to when afterparties were a thing and we could all go out dressed to impress, looking our best and being the flyest of all the guests. Suggested Reading Suge Knight Claims Tupac’s Mother Made This Shocking Move in His Final Moments Spoilers: Black TikTok Has Theories on Whether Taraji’s…

Close your eyes and think back to when afterparties were a thing and we could all go out dressed to impress, looking our best and being the flyest of all the guests.

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Trump’s Tariffs Might Stick Around. What Should We Buy Now?
Trump’s Tariffs Might Stick Around. What Should We Buy Now?

Well, thatโ€™s where we would be right now since The Blackest Awards were just released and weโ€™d be partying it up with the winners and nominees. But since we are still stuck inside, at this time we can only dream about what we would wear and what everyone else would be wearing, too. I imagine everyone would be (as always) trying to out-dress other honorees and attendees, which would be completely okay with me as Iโ€™m always in awe of the โ€˜fits on display.

With that in mind and based on fits theyโ€™ve worn in the past, hereโ€™s what I would hope to see each person wearing at the afterparty to end all afterparties.

King of Quarantine โ€“ Honoree: D-Nice

Photo: Getty Images Michael M. Santiago

Remember that horrible time we were all stuck in our houses and itching to go out and party? Oh wait, weโ€™re still there. But right as we were all going a bit stir-crazy, D-Nice swooped in and saved the day with his Instagram Live sets. This year, he wins the award of โ€œBest Accessorizedโ€ because of his excellent headwear (I want that hat), perfectly nerdy yet very fashionable glasses and of course, a matte black mask.

Queen of Quarantine โ€“ Honoree: Ziwe Fumudoh

Photo: Bea Helman

Right, now that weโ€™ve established the โ€œKing of Quarantine,โ€ itโ€™s time we honor the queen. Queen Ziwe would continue to stunt on all of us with an all-black ensemble (timeless) and something dramatic like this diamond necklace and sheer, feathery robe, securing her the โ€œHere to Steal Your Mansโ€ award.

John Singleton Award for Black Excellence From the Directorโ€™s Chair โ€“ Winner: Regina King

Illustration: Getty Images Neilson Barnard

No words. I mean, look at this masterpiece. Not only would she be shining the brightest out of everyone in the room, but she would be taking home the โ€œQueen of Coutureโ€ award as well.

Best Verzuz Battle โ€“ Winner: Patti LaBelle and Gladys Knight

Photo: Getty Images Gary Gershoff
Photo: Getty Images Jamie McCarthy

Our Aunties Patti LaBelle and Gladys Knight have stayed on the โ€œmost fashionableโ€ radar. They also seem to be the most supportive aunties out there, which is why theyโ€™d win the โ€œDo it for The Rootโ€ award and arrive in all green. Think of the pictures... immaculate.

Rappa or Sanger Ternt Acta Award for Best Turn as an Actor by a Person We Mostly Know for Rappinโ€™ or Sanginโ€™ โ€“ Winner: Mary J. Blige for Power Book II: Ghost

Photo: Getty Images Ethan Miller

Hello, Ms. Mary! Regardless of where she is going, she does not come to play. Sheโ€™d be wearing this fit to The Skippyโ€™s afterpartyย because, yes, she has worn it before and though she is a trendsetter, sheโ€™d have jumped back on the monochrome train from the inaugurationโ€”but make it sparklyโ€”securing herself the โ€œAll That Glitters is Gold,โ€ award.

โ€œBut Did You Watch THIS SHOW YET?โ€ Award for Best New Black TV Show on Any Platform โ€“ Winner: Lovecraft Country

And the award for โ€œMost Attractive Cast of Charactersโ€ goes to... Everyone would be dressed to match their off-screen personalities while keeping the poise, integrity of bad-assery of the characters that we know and have fallen in love with. Jonathan Majors would be going for a โ€œhigh fashion yet warmโ€ outfit since it is the middle of winter, while Jurnee would likely be giving us very romantic vibes in a floor-length gown. Weโ€™d get classic black suits from Courtney B. Vance and Michael Kenneth Williams and god-damn, Aunjanue Ellis and Wunmi Mosaku would just be doing the damn thing.

Photo: Getty Images Dia Dipasupil
Photo: Getty Images Paras Griffin
Photo: Getty Images Frazer Harrison
Photo: Getty Images Frazer Harrison
Photo: Getty Images Ilya S. Savenok
Photo: Getty Images Michael Loccisano

SLIDE #7

A Treasure Trove of Blackness Award for Best Black Movie Youโ€™ll Only Find on Amazon Prime โ€“ Winner: One Night in Miami...

If you donโ€™t think that the men in One Night In Miami... wouldnโ€™t show up in โ€˜60s era Miami fashion then you are sadly mistaken. Theyโ€™d show up in colorful suits and loosened ties around their necks (if any at all). The only difference would be their designer suits (brocade? velvet?) and theyโ€™d be taking home the award for โ€œDressed to (Colorfully) Impress.โ€

Screenshot: Amazon Prime

Lift Evโ€™ry Voice Award for Best Political Coverage by a Black Person During This Gawdawful Presidential Election Season โ€“ Winner: Joy-Ann Reid

Photo: Getty Images Theo Wargo

By day Joy-Ann Reid is a top-tier news-anchor, by night she would be attending the Skippyโ€™s afterparty with the same composure and grace as she would on a day-to-day basis, but with ten times more jewels. With that in mind, she would be awarded with โ€œMost Eye-Catching Jewelry and Bright-Ass Outfitโ€

You Finna Get Hit by This Glass Award for Best Reality TV Show Featuring Your Cousins You Only Claim Because Theyโ€™re on Television โ€“ Winner: Real Housewives of Atlanta

Right. The award for โ€œWill Absolutely Get in a Fight And Ruin Your Outfitโ€ award goes to...

Screenshot: The Real Housewives of Atlanta: BravoTV
Screenshot: The Real Housewives of Atlanta: BravoTV

The If Itโ€™s Really Real Son Award for the Documentary That Riveted and Compelled Our Blackness โ€“ Winner: The Last Dance

Photo: Getty Images Handout

By the grace of God, if Michael Jordan really did attend the afterparty, he would be doing so dressed in only black, wearing sneakers and his shirt would be unbuttoned. Heโ€™d most likely be wearing jeans but they would be designer and probably a very understated chain that cost more than a yearโ€™s worth of my rent. For that reason, he deserves the โ€œIโ€™m Only Here Because I Have to Beโ€ award.

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