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South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham Is Willing to Risk It All for Love
I’m convinced that President Trump has several photos of a buck-naked Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) holding an equally naked goat in a seedy hotel room lit only by Russian-prostitute-urine-scented candles, as we’ve not seen this level of commitment since this cat saw bacon. Over the weekend, Senate Judiciary Chairman Lindsey Graham, once a respected member of…
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Sen. Susan Collins Can Take a Long Walk Off a Short Pier
Every now and again, Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) tries to act like she’s an actual politician who is open to hearing all the evidence before making a decision. It’s a masterful piece of work. Like that time during Supreme Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearing, where Collins acted like she was concerned about his abhorrent…
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Julián Castro Ends Presidential Campaign
Former Housing and Urban Development Secretary Julián Castro, the only Latinx candidate in the field, has ended his campaign for president after low polling numbers and difficulty raising the excessive amount of money needed to compete for a chance to govern the country. “I’m so proud of the campaign we’ve run together. We’ve shaped the…
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As If Boiled Meat Wasn’t Bad Enough, Trump’s Campaign Seasoned the Season With a Website Full of Lies
President Trump has been a joke since taking office. He’s consistently outmatched and outwitted when sitting with heads of state; he lies so much that it’s hard to decipher what’s true and what isn’t, and he reportedly tried to park a truck with big tires on the White House lawn. So it’s unclear whether a…
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Republican Gets Spine for Christmas, Finds That Mitch McConnell Is Shady AF
In news that can only be described as shocking, Alaska Sen. Lisa Murkowski told an Anchorage TV station that she’s “disturbed” by Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s (R-Ky.) admission that he’s already decided his position on Trump’s impeachment. McConnell, the result of a turtle falling in love with a boat shoe and having unprotected sex,…
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Kwanzaa Is Dame Dash to Jay-Z’s Christmas
There was a time back when Kwanzaa and Christmas were cruising on a yacht popping Cristal and truly Big Pimpin’. Then there was a feud, something about Christmas cozying up with Lyor Cohen or Kwanzaa promoting Cam’ron to the president of Holiday Records, and Christmas bounced, went on to marry Beyoncé and partnered with the NFL.…
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Disgraced President Invited Disgraced Navy Seal to Disgraced Mar-a-Lago
The president, much like his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida, is a shithole. So I guess it shouldn’t be shocking, but for some reason, it still is, that President Trump invited retired disgraced Navy SEAL Eddie Gallagher to Mar-a-Lago over the weekend to allow Gallagher to kiss his ring in person. “Finally got to thank the…
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Kellyanne Conway’s Husband Has a Brutal Nickname for Trump and It’s Perfect
I don’t spend time thinking much about counselor to the president Kellyanne Conway and her husband George Conway’s relationship but whenever I do, I have a few thoughts: How long has Kellyanne been part of the undead? How does George list Kellyanne on their taxes and can you file jointly if one person is dead?…
