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Lloyd Austin Confirmed as America’s First Black Secretary of Defense
By a vote of 93-2, the Senate has confirmed Lloyd Austin to be the next Secretary of Defense and the first Black man to serve as the chief of the Pentagon. “Austin’s confirmation follows Wednesday’s Senate confirmation of Avril Haines, who became the first woman to the lead nation’s 18 intelligence agencies as the director…
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Biden’s Pen Game Is on Ballpoint, Signs Executive Actions to Increase Food Stamps and Speed Up Stimulus Money
It’s like the Notorious B.I.G. said: President Joe Biden kicked in the door waving his Bic and then commenced to signing some shit. Bars! If you are frowning your face and saying Biggie never said no shit like that, you are right. But, it doesn’t change the fact that the statement is true. Biden has…
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Pelosi to Trump: Wait a Minute, You Thought I Was Finished? Impeachment Article On Its Way to the Senate
Oh, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, you tried it. We saw your sad ass up there trying to fight for Trump, claiming that the impeachment article filed against him so soon after leaving office wouldn’t give him enough time to mount a defense. McConnell was trying to get the House to wait until Jan. 28…
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How Joe Biden’s $2,000 Stimulus Promise Turned Into $1,400 Overnight
Damnit, Joe. Not like this. Joe Biden hasn’t even taken office and he’s already pulling some fuckshit. On Thursday, Biden unveiled his proposal for a relief package that would cost some $1.9 trillion to help the struggling economy during the coronavirus pandemic. But it appears that Biden forgot about the $2,000 he promised Americans and…
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If the Capitol Is Closed to the Public, Why Did Some Republican Congress Members Give Tours the Day Before Insurrection?
It’s been a week since a violent group of terrorists stormed the Capitol looking to overthrow democracy and Democrats have questions, a lot of questions. According to Roll Call, Rep. Mikie Sherrill and 33 other House members want an investigation into tours provided by fellow House lawmakers inside the Capitol on Jan. 5, just one…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: It’s the Remix to Impeachment
After four years of tucking their ovaries away, it looks like some Republicans have finally grown a pair and are actually going to fight back. I know. I know. But you have to admit that the few Republicans that are on board with Trump’s impeachment are looking a little less like wet washcloths. (For my…
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Trump on Mob Violence: Riots Happen Every Day, B
If you were waiting for Trump to take accountability for inciting a mob riot on the Capitol, then you, my friend are a goddamn idiot. Respectfully. On Tuesday, an indignant Trump spoke about the violence at the Capitol and noted that he found it “totally appropriate” while also calling for “no violence” in his first…
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Second Congresswoman Tests Positive for COVID-19 After Capitol Lockdown With Maskholes
Rep. Pramila Jayapal has tested positive for COVID-19, making her the second congresswoman to test positive for the highly contagious virus because they were locked in a room with maskholes who refused to wear a mask even when they were offered one. “Only hours after Trump incited a deadly assault on our Capitol, many Republicans…
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Pay Me What You Owe Me: Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee Reintroduces Reparations Bill
“Is the stimmy a form of reparations?” my 1-year-old daughter asked me the other day. I looked at her puzzled, and then asked where she’d heard such big words. She replied that her daycare is near: I kid. My daughter doesn’t go to daycare with COVID-19 running unchecked in these MAGA streets. I live near…
