Help! Trump Spoke to CNBC and I Don't Understand Anything He Just Said

Illustration for article titled Help! Trump Spoke to CNBC and I Don't Understand Anything He Just Said
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The president of the United States gave an interview to CNBC and he sounded like a man who doesn’t know what the hell is going on. But what was even more concerning is instead of his usual word-salad, this was more like a word Chipotle bowl that was dropped on the floor and then kicked around.


On Monday, Trump was asked about big tech companies needing to be broken up to prevent monopolies, and his answer...well if you understand it, please tell me in the comments.

According to RawStory, Trump not only went off topic, he started talking about the European Union and the way they treat American companies, which totally explains why big companies needed to scale down to create a competitive market.

“I’ll tell you this: The European Union, which is a fantastic group of negotiators, they actually, a very, very prominent person who you know well, who’s on your show a lot, said the person at the European Union that is in charge of taxation hates the United States more than any person anywhere in the world,” Trump began, RawStory reports. “But I really believe that’s true! Every week you see them going after Facebook and Apple and all of these companies that are great companies. There’s something going on.”

Then, because the president wasn’t done talking about the EU, he continued on his nonsensical rant claiming that they were suing American tech companies because they “hate” America.

“When they give European Union $7 billion and $5 billion and $2 billion, you know, Apple gets sued for $10 billion, and you know, right now it’s going on and they’ll end up settling, they get all this money,” he said, RawStory reports. “Well, we should be doing that! They’re our companies, so they’re actually attacking our companies. But we should be doing what they’re doing! They think there’s a monopoly, but I’m not sure that they think that, they just figure this is easy money, we’ll sue Apple for $7 billion and we’ll make a settlement or win the case. So I think it’s a bad situation but obviously there is something going on in terms of monopoly.”

Seriously, if you have any idea what the president is talking about and how any of this relates to big tech companies branching off into smaller companies, help me understand in the comments section.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


Forgot my last account

Translation: I and the Europeam Union don’t actually think that the big tech companies are monopolies but since the EU hates America and American success they sue the big tech companies and then get tons of money in the form of a settlement. (Less than if we actually taxed them but still!) We (the united states) should do that too because it would get us free and easy money when the company settles (even if it is less than actually imposing a tax would be)

Tech companies aren;t too big, but we can sue them and get them to toss us some cash to drop the suit.

I think.  I left my insane moron to english dictionary at home.