On Tuesday, a woman stabbed a Trump baby blimp to death.
A video shot by an onlooker and published by the British tabloid The Sun shows the woman, obviously a supporter of the Grand Wizard of the White House, stabbing the balloon that depicts President Trump in his most accurate depiction—as a baby wearing only a diaper.
According to USA Today, the woman used a “pointed or bladed article” to kill baby Trump. While the woman’s identity is still unknown, for the purpose of this article we will call her Ivana Stabsumshyt. Ms. Stabsumshyt reportedly yelled “That’s a disgrace. The president of the United States is the best president ever” as baby Trump let out its last bits of air.
Ivana Stabsumshyt walked away from the dying blimp saying, “yeah baby,” and adding, “I think Donald Trump’s balloon is not very well.”
Police immediately arrested Ivana Stabsumshyt afterward and treated what appeared to be a wound on her hand from where she stabbed some shit after going full Arya Stark on the inflated ballon. Ivana Stabsumshyt can be seen shouting at police and at one point even accused the officers of assault.
A police spokesperson told the Independent that “one female has been arrested for being in possession of a pointed or bladed article” the USA Today reports.
Trump’s visit to Britain hasn’t been all roses considering the dick pics, the protests, and Trump possibly falling asleep during the Queen’s speech.
Goodnight, baby Trump balloon. You were too good for this cold world. May you sleep soundly knowing that the world is a better place because you were in it.