Illustration for article titled ‘America’s Dicktator’ Now Wants Tanks and a VIP Section to Destroy the 4th of July Celebration
Photo: Dong-A Ilbo (Getty Images)

President Donald Trump still doesn’t understand how democracy works. He doesn’t understand that just because Russia stole the 2016 presidential election and handed it to him that he can’t punish the press just because they don’t write favorable stories about his cow pie-esque administration, and that he can’t kill people unless it’s on foreign soil and under the guise of war.


Trump thought that becoming the president of the United States was the equivalent of running a country the way that his mentors Russian President Vladimir Putin and North Korea’s Kim Jong Un have. He’s been sadly mistaken and grossly outplayed.

While Congress can stop the president from building his dumb-ass wall that no one wants along the southern border, they can’t stop him from blowing a bag for a dumb-ass parade to ruin the Fourth of July.


According to the Washington Post, Trump has been very involved in this year’s event, including a demand to “station tanks or other armored military vehicles on the Mall for his planned Fourth of July address to the nation.”

This president’s gall knows no bounds. The National Park Service currently has “an $11 billion backlog in maintenance needs” while still dealing with the fallout from natural disasters, and now they have to take on this jackass’ request to “ball out so my foreign dictator bitches know I’m out here!”

The Post notes that an event of this magnitude normally includes an event planner, but the president has decided that he will take on this role since he doesn’t have shit else to do with his time. The White House has even included a VIP section for elite guests, like the spirits of Joseph Stalin and Marge Schott, to hear the president’s speech up close.

From the Post:

As a result, the administration has organized a far more ambitious celebration than was originally planned, at a yet-to-be specified additional cost to taxpayers. Two major fireworks firms have donated a pyrotechnic show valued at $750,000, for example, but the Park Service will have to pay employees overtime to clean up the remnants of that display. The fireworks have also been moved to a new location in West Potomac Park at Trump’s urging.

Trump has also spurred the use of military aircraft for a flyover, including one of the jetliners used as Air Force One. In addition, the Navy’s Blue Angels were supposed to have a break between a performance in Davenport, Iowa on June 30 and one in Kansas City, Mo. on July 6, but will now be flying in D.C. on the 4th.


The Post notes that the president’s gaudy display of vapid extra-ness has not gone unnoticed, as at least one group of “senior citizens living at The Residences at Thomas Circle will hold a singalong at the same time as Trump’s speech, in a gathering they’ve dubbed, ‘Make Americans Friends Again.’”

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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