I cover politics and sports for The Root.
R. Kelly and the accusations that have followed him like the stench from an R&B PigPen aren’t my lane. I was perfectly fine vomiting all over my television screen like the rest of us after watching Surviving R. Kelly, the six-part docu-series, and seeing just how far down this sick rabbit hole this story goes. Then I got to thinking. Well ... not really thinking but feeling something extremely familiar. Then it hit me:
R. Kelly is black Donald Trump.
Think about it, both men struggle with reading on a grade-school level. While news of R. Kelly’s holding up the class while asking for help sounding out big words was a bit of a shocker, President Trump’s inability to read has been thoroughly explored by The Root’s very own Michael Harriot here, here and here.
Both men have not only been involved in numerous allegations of sexual misconduct by several women (you can read about the 22 women who have accused Trump of sexual misconduct here), and both men have been caught and exposed on tape being beyond inappropriate. And don’t give me that look like R. Kelly’s case is way worse because it involves underage girls and allegations of statutory rape. Those same allegations have followed Trump around for years too and can be read about here here here and here.
I don’t know another way to say this but both men reportedly enjoy water sports. The president is rumored to have splashed himself in Russian prostitute urine and R. Kelly well, Dave Chappelle did a whole skit about his exploits.
Both men have been staunch and merciless in their defense against said accusations. Trump and Kelly both claimed that all of the women are liars and all reports are merely fake news.
But, the most telling thread that literally makes R. Kelly Black Donald Trump is his supporters’ refusal to accept any of it. In fact, if you can’t understand the level of cult celebrity obsession that enabled an illiterate, abusive blowhard to become President, look no further than those who refuse to believe that R. Kelly could’ve done any of the horrible things the woman allege because he drove the Batmobile through the Gotham City ghetto!
After countless women shared their stories of abuse endured at the hands of the reported monster, I was not shocked to learn that his music sales and streaming numbers had increased. I won’t pretend to understand the psychology of people who will allow themselves to look past the horrible behaviors of people because they spouted a tagline in a reality show, or because they sang the hit song from Space Jam. But I can tell you that the indignant support both men enjoy is staggering. At least Donald Trump is a racist, misogynistic, asshole who can relate to other racist, misogynistic, assholes. But the level of support for R. Kelly is baffling. I mean at most that nigga sang the shit out of the remix of “Ignition” and yodeled “booty” like a Swedish goat herder. And bamas are out here acting like he was trying to buy NBC.
I should’ve known that he was going on the untouchables list when he wore what can only be classified as a hotep headpiece in the I Wish video (see below).
I’ve dealt with Trump supporters long enough to know that there is no reasoning with them. They don’t respond to facts, proof, transcript, receipts or video evidence. As far as they’re concerned, every accusation—all of them—are just a ploy by the liberal media to try and stop the righteous work of a true American.
And while I don’t fully understand the R.Kelly supporters position because I refuse to listen to anyone that puts the onus of an alleged rape on the underage victim, I can advise you not to wade in those waters. Don’t entertain the arguments on Facebook or Twitter. Don’t take the bait when they ask where is Surviving Harvey Weinstein or Surviving Woody Allen documentaries. Being black doesn’t make you righteous. It doesn’t mean that the system which is notorious for railroading black folks is working against Kelly.
You can be both black and guilty of the crimes for which you are accused of and that doesn’t mean that the system isn’t corrupt. While racism, sexism, misogyny and xenophobia seem to be the straws that hold Vladimir Putin’s puppet upright, unless “Summer Bunnies” is really about racial injustice and police brutality against blacks then I’m confused with why supporters truly believe that Kellz is being unjustly treated by a system that wants to bring down this messiah of music. Was “Sex Weed” from the book of TP.3 Reloaded so powerful that R. Kelly just had to be stopped?
Nevertheless, both Trump and Black Trump are being investigated albeit for different alleged crimes.
But, it’s like my father always said, “Don’t die on a hill defending a nigga that made 33 parts to Trapped in the Closet.”
But if someone had to die on a hill ... Never mind.
I wish, I wish, I wish.