‘Mean Ushers, Peppermints’ and 15 other Blackity-black Church Rules You Need to Know

From the usher stare to the peppermint grandmas, take a stroll down memory lane inside the Black church only those who grew up in it would understand.

The homegoing for the Rev. Jesse Jackson, one of the nation’s last living civil rights icons, was always going to be a masterclass in tradition. But a single, candid plea from the podium is what truly transported the audience back to the pews of old.

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HBCU Endowments vs. Harvard’s $53.2 billion

With attendees lingering in the aisles as former Presidents Barack Obama, Joe Biden and Bill Clinton prepared to enter the House of Hope on Chicago’s South Side Friday, a speaker took to the mic with a hilariously relatable observation: “Y’all ever been to church with mean ushers? We ain’t got no mean ushers— we should’ve brought ’em from the West Side. We got all these South Side nice people… and they got peppermints in they pockets for you.”

Check out the lighthearted comments at the 4:27:20 mark!

That viral moment tapped into a core memory for anyone raised in the Black church—a sanctuary governed by a delicate, and often terrifying, unwritten social contract.

Let’s take a stroll down memory lane to revisit the unwritten manual of a Sunday morning!

The White-Glove Enforcers

DENVER, CO – APRIL 9: Easter Sunday services at Zion Baptist Church on April 9, 2023 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Helen H. Richardson/MediaNews Group/The Denver Post via Getty Images)

The Usher Board was the sanctuary’s elite security detail, moving in a synchronized choreography of hand signals and stoic nods. They can direct a crowd of five hundred with a single pointed finger, and heaven help the soul who tries to enter the church during the Scripture reading!

Strawberry Candies You Never Saw in Stores

Do you remember those sweet delicious, hard candies covered in a wrapping reminiscent of a strawberry? If you weren’t in Sunday School, your grandma—or someone else’s— often handed you one and you happily obliged. (Honorable mention: Werther’s Original. Those hard, caramel candies remain undefeated!)

Testimony Service

NORTH BRENTWOOD, MD – OCTOBER 2: Mattie Coleman, 93, gives an emotional testimony during Sunday service at the North Brentwood African Methodist Episcopal Church, the oldest church in the town, on October 2, 2011, in North Brentwood, MD. (Photo by Jahi Chikwendiu/The Washington Post via Getty Images)

“First giving honor to God, who is the head of my life…” If you grew up in church, you know exactly what comes after! Just when you thought the service was moving along, someone would stand up and say they had a testimony. What followed could be a powerful story or a journey that took a few unexpected turns. Either way, everyone settled in because you knew it might take a minute.

Grandma’s Unlimited Peppermint Supply

NEW ORLEANS – JUNE 01: Worshipers celebrate at the official re-opening and rededication service of the Bethel African Methodist Episcopal Church in the Lower Ninth Ward June 1, 2008 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)

Victoria Monét knew what she was talking about when she sang: “I’m so deep in my bag like a grandma with a peppermint!” Grandmothers, somehow, had an unlimited supply of those minty treats in her pocketbook— next to her change purse (remember those?)— that we never actually saw her purchase.

The Easter Program You Had to Do

Easter Sunday service at Hunter?s Chapel, Como, Mississippi, 31 March 2013. (Photo by Mick Gold/Redferns)

Sunday School teachers would wrangle the little ones together to recite poems, read scriptures and sing worship songs for their annual Easter program to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. If you had stage freight or fear of speaking in front of a crowd…oh well!

That Single Look From The Mother Board

The Mothers of the Church took their jobs seriously, and they maintained order in the church like clockwork. They didn’t even need to say a single word, any kid out of line automatically knew what that singular look meant and what you needed to— or else.

Fellowshipping

CHARLESTON, SC – JUNE 21: Parishioners clean a room in the basement. (Photo by David Goldman-Pool/Getty Images)

Your stomach probably started to grumble when the smell of fried fish, chicken and industrial-strength coffee made its way uninvited into the sanctuary. Those Sunday afternoons were filled with the best potato salad you’ve ever tasted, plus fruit punch and pound cake.

Going Out to Eat

People depart the Emanuel AME Church following Sunday services June 21, 2015 in Charleston, South Carolina. (Photo credit should read BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP via Getty Images)

If your church didn’t cook in the kitchen’s basement, then you and your family usually headed to the nearest Ponderosa or Old Country Buffet to probably talk about everybody they just saw an hour prior! On the Sundays your grandmother’s knees were hurting, she grabbed a bucket of Popeyes’ chicken (with coupons clipped from the newspaper) instead!

Church Fans—That Provided Little to No Relief

WASHINGTON, DC – NOVEMBER 13: Martin Luther King fans are used at the First Church of Christ Holiness in Washington, DC on November 13, 2011. (Photo by Linda Davidson/The Washington Post via Getty Images)

Before air conditioning could fully do its job, there were the legendary church fans. Usually printed with a smiling face from a local funeral home or a picture of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. staring into your soul, those fans worked overtime during long sermons and praise breaks…wrinkles and all!

Preacher Ending His Sermon…for the Fourth Time

NEW ORLEANS – JUNE 01: Worshipers celebrate at the official re-opening and rededication service of the Bethel African Methodist Episcopal Church in the Lower Ninth Ward June 1, 2008 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)

Black church kids mastered the art of patience early. When the sermon stretched into its third or fourth crescendo, you learned how to sit still, stare ahead and pretend you knew what he was talking about. And if somebody from the crowed yelled out “Take ya time!,” you knew to get real comfortable.

The Choir That Took You to Church

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When the choir stood up, you knew something special was about to happen. Those harmonies could shake the pews, have people on their feet and turn a quiet morning into a full celebration. Even the kids in the back row stopped whispering when the choir really got going.

Draped in Your Sunday’s Best

NEW YORK – APRIL 08: Children gather outside after Easter service in Harlem at Ephesus Seventh-day Adventist Church April 8, 2007 in New York City. (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)

Parents didn’t play when it came to dressing your absolute best to go praise The Lord. From shiny shoes to carefully pressed outfits to hair bows and a face coated in Vaseline, everybody came dressed with purpose.

The Parking Lot Goodbye That Never Seemed to End

(Photo credit: Getty Images)

Leaving church was never quick. Even after saying goodbye inside, people somehow met again in the parking lot for another round of conversation. Kids stood nearby waiting patiently while the adults finished “just one more thing.”

The Long Walk to the Bathroom

BOSTON – JANUARY 29: The Rev. Laura Buchanan Ahart, pastor of United Baptist Church in Jamaica Plain cleans the church (from last Sunday’s service) on Wednesday, January 29, 2014. (Photo by Pat Greenhouse/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)

Asking to go to the bathroom during service meant making the long walk down the aisle as every eye in the sanctuary somehow followed you as you passed each pew. Now whether you actually used the bathroom or just played in the sink water is a different story!

The Infamous Church Finger

@pryoritymalellc

Black church traditions, finger raised in church, black church culture, church etiquette, leaving the sanctuary sign #ChurchCulture #BlackChurchTradition #ChurchFinger #SanctuaryEtiquette #ChurchHumor

♬ Cozy Day (Lofi) – The Machinist Beats

You saw all the adults hold up that one finger when they walked during service and you never quite knew what that meant (I still don’t!) But I assume that meant they were excusing themselves in a polite and quiet way.

It’s Offering Time!

St Johns Missionary Baptist Church Shyheem McMiller (argyle vest),11, of Reading collects accepts the offering during Sunday’s service at St. John’s Missionary Baptist Church. (Photo By Lauren A. Little/MediaNews Group/Reading Eagle via Getty Images)

When the offering plate came around, every kid suddenly became interested in what everyone else was putting in. Some people placed crisp bills, others dropped coins that made a loud clink while some kids were handed a dollar or two by their mom to add to the bucket (but considered tucking into their nearest pocket!)

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