At this point, Trump is touring more than Kevin Hart, Doug E. Fresh and the black-famous Maze featuring Frankie Beverly. The Root Senior Writer Michael Harriot has already found that Trump is the 10th highest paid athlete in the country, but did you know that he’s the most sought-after masturbating comedian? Fine, there is no other comedian who masturbates onstage. Wait, you’ve never seen Trump’s vaudevillian act? Well, let me spoil it for you: His act, in fact, all of his “rallies,” are basically the clown of a president walking out to a crowd of adoring fans who watch as he pleasures himself while he tears through the Constitution, people of color, those with disabilities, women—basically any non-white, cisgender person who is not voting for him.
On Thursday, Trump took his traveling road show to Colorado, where weed is legal. Maybe he was two edibles in and maybe those edibles looked like soggy chicken from KFC that the president seems to enjoy, but for some reason, during his public fapping session, the president decided to take aim at Parasite, the South Korean film that cleaned up at this year’s Oscars, including becoming the first foreign language film to walk away with Best Picture.
“By the way, how bad were the Academy Awards this year?” Trump asked of his crowd of booing Americans who obviously were not high.
“The winner is a movie from South Korea. What the hell was that all about? We’ve got enough problems with South Korea, with trade,” the president continued. “And after all that, they give them best movie of the year?”
What Trump is implying here is why on earth would the Academy Awards celebrate a foreign movie when they aren’t white! Why wouldn’t they find a white movie to prop up?! I mean, surely Hillary Swank or Tom Cruise did something...didn’t they? Maybe I’m just assuming that Trump wanted a white movie to win. That’s probably an unfair assumption to make. I shouldn’t put words into his anus-shaped mouth.
Trump continued: “Can we get ‘Gone With the Wind’ back, please?”
Yes, let’s go back to a time where white people lived on plantations and black people worked as servants. Just because the president has Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson warm his bed every night doesn’t mean that he’s racist; maybe Carson is just a really good bed warmer.
What’s most amazing about the president’s comments isn’t that he made them, it’s that the studio behind Parasite clapped back hard, posting that the president would be upset about the South Korean film winning the top prize because it was featured with subtitles and the president has trouble with words over four letters. (Harriot also explored Trump’s trouble reading, which can be read here, here, and here.)