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IG Honey Steve Mnuchin Believes $1,200 Stimulus Check Should Last Americans 10 Weeks
Secretary of Treasury Steve Mnuchin’s wife Buffy, (OK, I don’t know her name but Buffy seems fitting for this post. Fine, her name is Louise Linton,) once flossed so hard on Instagram, she literally hashtagged all of her wildly expensive wears after a day trip with her man. “Great #daytrip to #Kentucky! #nicest #people #beautiful…
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The Chosen President Wishes Everyone a Happy Jesus' Death Day
The president of the United States—the one whom his believers link to Jesus, or, more modestly, God—just wished everyone a “HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY” because he’s not only a fake Christian, he doesn’t understand how any of this works. For those of us forced to wear church clothes on Sunday—I only had three kinds of clothes:…
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Trump Campaign to Jeff Sessions: Stop Trying to Act Like We’re Still Gang Gang
President Trump and Jeff Sessions were once a White House version of famed New England Patriots duo Bill Belichick and Tom Brady—that is, until Sessions started realizing that what Trump wanted in an attorney general was a body man to do his dirty work. When Session said “nah,” he then resigned at Trump’s request, which is…
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Trump Won’t Open Obamacare Enrollment in a Pandemic Because He Hates Obama That Much
Trump has to have an enemy. For the longest time, it was the banks; then it was the media, then it was Obama, then the media again and back to Obama. Trump hates Obama so much that he’s willing to keep Obamacare exchanges closed so that uninsured Americans can’t purchase health care coverage IN A…
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The President Finally Got the Seriousness of Coronavirus After Seeing New York Morgue Truck on TV
Everything is fucked. All of us are on house arrest. There is never enough strawberry cream cheese to make it through these trying times. (Seriously, who is buying all the fucking strawberry cream cheese?) And the President of the United States is so fucking slow that despite coronavirus ravaging the globe, it took him seeing…
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Trump Sent Nearly 17.8 Tons of Medical Supplies to China After First Coronavirus Case in the U.S. When Shortages Hit, He Blamed Obama
President Donald Trump was fully aware that on Jan. 21, the coronavirus had hit the United States, the land he’s been elected (by Russian oligarchs) to govern. He may have also known of the disease’s devastation as early as December but on Jan. 21, a 30-year-old Washington state man who had visited Wuhan, China had…
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It’s Time for America to Do the Right Thing and Quarantine Trump’s Press Conferences
On Sunday, the president of people who didn’t wash their hands before the coronavirus and probably still don’t held a rally disguised as a press conference in which he rated questions on a scale of nice and ugly, berated a reporter for quoting him and continued to lie to the American public about what he…
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WTF Is Joe Biden Talking About?: Former Vice President Goes on The View, Claims Coronavirus Cure Will Make the Problem Worse
If I told you that there was a man, a white man, an older white man running for president that lied and said all kinds of random shit and physically wanted to fight people and used phrases like “lily livered” and “fisticuffs” and “malarkey,” you would tell me that surely that man was already in…
