Trump Campaign to Jeff Sessions: Stop Trying to Act Like We’re Still Gang Gang

Illustration for article titled Trump Campaign to Jeff Sessions: Stop Trying to Act Like We’re Still Gang Gang
Photo: MANDEL NGAN (Getty Images)

President Trump and Jeff Sessions were once a White House version of famed New England Patriots duo Bill Belichick and Tom Brady—that is, until Sessions started realizing that what Trump wanted in an attorney general was a body man to do his dirty work. When Session said “nah,” he then resigned at Trump’s request, which is like saying you’re going to be fired if you don’t quit.


So Sessions, being the shit-heel weasel that he’s always been, is trying to get back his old U.S. Senate seat in Alabama but Trump is not fucking with Sessions and even endorsed another Republican candidate.

Apparently, Sessions’ campaign literature tried to make it look like he and Trump are besties as a fundraising letter mentions Trump’s name 22 times.

So the Trump campaign was forced to send their own letter to Sessions saying “Chill with saying the president’s name because I don’t know if you know this, but he doesn’t fuck with you.” Sessions must’ve forgotten how Trump publicly humiliated his ass when he recused himself during then-special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation.

“The letter even makes the delusional assertion that you are President ‘Trump’s #1 Supporter,’ ” Michael S. Glassner, the chief operating officer of the Trump campaign, wrote, the Washington Post reports. “We only assume your campaign is doing this to confuse President Trump’s loyal supporters in Alabama into believing the President supports your candidacy in the upcoming primary run-off election. Nothing could be further from the truth.”

The Post:

The letter also quotes tweets from Trump last month in which he endorsed Tommy Tuberville, a former Auburn University football coach, in the GOP runoff, scheduled for July 14. In November, the winner will face Sen. Doug Jones (D-Ala.), who won a special election in 2017 to replace Sessions, who had joined Trump’s Cabinet.

“We want to be absolutely clear about it: President Trump and the Trump Campaign unambiguously endorse Tommy Tuberville,” Glassner wrote in the letter dated Tuesday. “We demand that you and your campaign immediately stop circulating mailers — or any other similar communication — that wrongly suggest otherwise.”


Gail Gitcho, a senior adviser to Sessions, claims the fundraising letter was mailed days before Trump made his endorsement but added that the mailer was factual.

“Jeff Sessions is indeed one of the strongest supporters of President Trump and his agenda. That is just fact,” she said, adding that Sessions “remains faithful to the Trump agenda. No one can change that,” the Post reports.


Umm, that’s kind of like a man and a woman breaking up and the woman files a restraining order against her former lover and the lover says, “I love you and no restraining order is going to change that!”

Yep, basically Jeff Sessions is MAGA-whipped.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.



Trump gave the KKKeebler elf the Private Pyle treatment in front of 330,000,000 people.

Yet Sessions is still trying to coast on his former proximity to Trump.

Have some fucking self respect, you racist garden gnome.