#HallwayHasselhoff: Human Border Wall Harasses Black Men for Proof of Residency

Hallway Hasselhoff shown here in full “I’ve never seen you so how do you exist” stance.
Hallway Hasselhoff shown here in full “I’ve never seen you so how do you exist” stance.
Screenshot: Twitter

Since President Trump has deputized whiteness, a colonizer was caught on tape shortly after staking claim to an apartment building he’s lived in for 27 years and demanding to see a black resident’s freedom papers.


A video posted Thursday on Twitter shows Colonizer Chad informing a black neighbor that he couldn’t possibly live in the building with the pure white people. Because the apartment building must run all of the residents past Sam the Security Guard, the black men, who were reportedly waiting on a Lyft, were harassed by the president of the “You don’t live here” homeowners association.

“What are you doing in my building?” the white man asks. “You don’t live here.”

Chika Okafor, who works for the sports website Bleacher Report, and who better make sure that he has direct deposit should any of his paychecks be over $1,000, posted video of the confrontation to social media noting that he was interrogated for the crime of existing in a white space as a free black man.

“I’ve lived here 27 years and I’ve never seen you,” said Hallway Hal. Again, this is Okafor’s fault as it clearly states in his lease that upon taking ownership of the apartment he was supposed to introduce himself to all his white neighbors as to make sure a scene like this didn’t unfold.

Okafor doesn’t seem to understand that he’s supposed to be intimidated by the William of Wypipostan and isn’t kowtowing to his demands to know which apartment Okafor lives in. This seems to irritate Skeletor of Castle Grayskull, who continues to fold his arms and state: “I can be as cool as you.”

Okafor’s friend, who has been filming the entire incident, tells the Wypipo Lounge’s head bouncer he doesn’t want his smallpox infested blanket, and adds that when the deputized building counter of black people walked to the entrance, the two black men held the door for him.


“You left your MAGA hat upstairs, man,” the friend filming the heated conversation tells the man in the video.

#BuildingBouncerBill issued the declaration that he’s never seen the black man before and therefore because the entire building had been colonized, the black man doesn’t have a claim to the apartment he rents unless he can prove to MAGAsshole that he does.


Obviously this isn’t sitting well with Twitter, who had a lot to say about Hallway Hasselhoff:

“What was with him criticizing you for being calm, collected and cool. These people can’t stand that a black man can be more dignified and cooler than they will ever be,” one Twitter user commented, Yahoo reports.


“If he was truly backing down to be neighborly, he would have done neighborly things like introduce himself or extend a handshake,” another person wrote. “His intentions were very clear.”

No word on what happened to Lobby Larry, but check back for updates.

Correction: 12/21/2108, 12:05 p.m. ET: Headline was changed to correctly reflect that a white man was harassing two black men as they waited for a Lyft.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.



I could say so much but I’m just gonna say this. Fuck him.