Yes, the President Patted His Leg for Melania to Walk to Him Like a Dog and Let’s Stop Acting Surprised

Illustration for article titled Yes, the President Patted His Leg for Melania to Walk to Him Like a Dog and Let’s Stop Acting Surprised
Photo: Mark WIlson (Getty Images)

If we were going to encapsulate the president’s presidency in one moment, it would be a split screen of him placing his McDonald’s order on one side and him admitting to grabbing unsuspecting women by their genitalia on the other.


Fine, that’s two moments, but let’s break them down, shall we? Nothing says I’m a narcissist, racist, xenophobe, and hater of all things including my arteries like ordering “two Big Macs, two Filet-o-Fishes and a chocolate milkshake.”

We should’ve known early on that a man who eats this way doesn’t have any respect for anything. This order tells us everything that we need to know. First of all, what kind of psychopath goes to McDonald’s and doesn’t order fries? Seriously, who does this but that hemorrhoid on the ass of America? What person with enough money to order fries at McDonald’s doesn’t willingly order fries? It’s like my grandfather always said, “A nigga that doesn’t order fries at McDonald’s is the opps.”

Secondly, when Trump was caught on tape bragging about how he sexually assaults women that should’ve been the end of the Trump for President push. But Russia and 53 percent of white women had different plans, so let’s stop it with the shock and awe when the president continues to prove that the depths of his misogyny have no bounds. Let’s stop acting like the president patting his leg for Melania to come to his side like she’s a basset hound is a new low for a president who slithers along the ground like a slug.

Video of President Trump slapping his leg to summon his wife went viral early Wednesday after comedy writer James Felton shared the video on Twitter.

“Donald Trump: ‘Nobody respects women more than me,’” Felton captioned the clip. “Also Donald Trump: ‘Here girl, come here girl’ [pats leg] ‘come here wife, there’s a good girl.’”


According to Newsweek, “Felton’s post had more than 240,000 retweets and more than 1,100 likes.”


A Twitter user reminded us that Trump has a history of being an absolute fat albino walrus and an all-around shitty person when it comes to women after they retweeted the photo with a quote from a 1992 New York Magazine article with the president’s feelings on women: “You have to treat ‘em like shit,” he said.

So let’s stop the “Save Melania” bullshit and quit the mouth agape social media posts like this isn’t who he’s been and Melania didn’t know what she was getting into.


I don’t buy any of it. Melania is grown-grown, and if she wanted out, she’s got her citizenship, and any of us who have watched a few episodes of 90-Day Fiancé know that she could’ve been bounced. She likes this shit, and if she doesn’t, then she’s learned to like it. Melania is no damsel in distress. I don’t even know what a damsel is but I know that Melania isn’t one. She’s not Trump’s moral compass who’s always steering the Trump Titanic away from the ice patch. Nope, she’s the woman who manipulated the system to bring her and her family here and is just as complicit as her husband in making sure that those seeking the same freedoms that were afforded her and her family are being held in inhumane conditions, living on top of each other in cages. They couldn’t pose their way into some old rich white man’s heart. Those folks couldn’t manipulate the system to finesse a “genius” visa.


And let’s not forget the coat Melania wore, last year when visiting a Texas facility that houses children torn from their parents. For those who don’t recall, the back of the jacket read: “I really don’t care do you?”

Illustration for article titled Yes, the President Patted His Leg for Melania to Walk to Him Like a Dog and Let’s Stop Acting Surprised
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

So to answer your jacket, Melania: Nope, I don’t care. None of us with a full set of uppers who don’t own boat shoes give a fuck. This is another story about a old rich white man and his lady and if patting the leg the way a dog owner would summon his Yorkie is how y’all do it, then who are we to judge?

But let’s stop acting like Melania is in some terrible hostage style relationship. No, that would be the fate of thousands of migrants who have been walled off in concentration camps. I will save my outrage for them and until then, Melania can service her master however she sees fit and continue to be an accomplice to Trump’s tyranny. Even if that looks like a submissive role, it isn’t.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


Otm Shank !

No one feels sorry for that stone cold cunt