Donald Trump’s fired campaign manager Corey Lewandowski and top aide David Bossie have pulled the lid off the president’s trashy-ass life to reveal that he eats like a high school sophomore whose parents work three jobs and are unable to care for him properly.
In Lewandowski and Bossie’s new book, titled Let Trump Be Trump, the president, while on the campaign trail, would stop at McDonald’s and order two Big Macs, two Filet-o-Fishes and a chocolate milkshake. Then he would promptly destroy the campaign-bus bathroom, because who in the world eats like this?
Seriously, let’s really look at this: McDonald’s is world-renowned for its fries. If you’re with me and we go to McDonald’s together and you order food that doesn’t include fries, I know everything that I need to know about you.
There’s a good chance that you enjoy Britney Spears musically. There is a 9.9 out of 10 chance that you didn’t make your school book covers out of paper bags but, rather, purchased book covers.
And you hate yourself.
I don’t mind if you don’t order fries because you’re dieting, or you just want a dessert (which, in some cases, still may require the ordering of a small fries). But going to McDonald’s because you just really love the mystery meat and fake fish is beyond fucking insane! How could you do this to us, 53 percent of white women who voted against their self-interests to elect President McCheese-Up-in-My-Arteries?
The Guardian notes that health officials generally advise that men consume about 2,500 calories a day and that Trump’s McDonalds order was 2,420 calories, 112 grams of fat and 3,470 milligrams of salt, and that was in one sitting.
“On Trump Force One there were four major food groups: McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza and Diet Coke,” Lewandowski and Bossie wrote, according to a copy of the book obtained by the Washington Post.
Also, because Trump is a germophobe and an unhealthy bitch, he demanded that his plane be stocked with cookies and snacks, but all cookies and snacks needed to be sealed or else he wouldn’t eat them (which I don’t believe, because he eats two Big Macs in one sitting).
Clearly, it’s easy to imagine that anyone who eats this waywardly would have issues controlling his temper. The former campaign officials-turned-authors noted that Trump was known to break into expletive-laced rants at aides.
“Sooner or later, everybody who works for Donald Trump will see a side of him that makes you wonder why you took a job with him in the first place,” the authors wrote, the Washington Post reports.
“His wrath is never intended as any personal offense, but sometimes it can be hard not to take it that way. The mode that he switches into when things aren’t going his way can feel like an all-out assault; it’d break most hardened men and women into little pieces,” they continued.
And, in the most bizarre bit of news coming from this book, but the least of bizarre news coming from this presidency, apparently, Trump believes that the press secretary’s job is to press his clothes.
The book notes that one of the jobs of press secretary Hope Hicks, whom the president creepily calls “Hopester” and “Hopie,” was to press the president’s suits while he was still in them.
“‘Get the machine!’” Trump would yell, according to the book, the Post reports. “And Hope would take out the steamer and start steaming Mr. Trump’s suit, while he was wearing it! She’d steam the jacket first and then sit in a chair in front of him and steam his pants.”
Nope, nothing weird about pressing the president’s crotch while he’s in the pants.
Nothing. At. All.
On Sunday, both authors appeared on NBC’s Meet the Press. When asked if they ever thought of leaving the president’s Cabinet, Lewandowski responded, saying: “I never thought about quitting. But, you know, when you give up the sacrifice of time with your family and all the things that were important to you, and he demands such perfection, and he deserves it.”
Lewandowski was fired as Trump’s campaign manager in June 2016.