Wisconsin to Trump: You Want a Recount, Cool. Pay Us $8 Million and We Will Hop Right on It

Illustration for article titled Wisconsin to Trump: You Want a Recount, Cool. Pay Us $8 Million and We Will Hop Right on It
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

Wisconsin doesn’t have time for Trump, his goofy prepaid mall-kiosk lawyers or his bullshit claims of voter fraud and has put the president on notice: You can have a recount in Wisconsin (a state he narrowly lost), but you’re going to pay for it, and we need $8 million upfront because we’ve heard about how you handle debt.

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According to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Trump will have until Wednesday to decide if he wants to pay the money for the recount, which isn’t going to change anything.

Here’s what I think will happen:

  1. Nothing. If Trump has to spend his own money to try and fake-fight this then he’s not going to do it. He knows this is all bullshit and asking the president to spend his own money is calling his bluff.
  2. He’s going to take money raised for his fake-ass PAC that is basically a big-ass GoFundMe that will fund Trump’s lifestyle outside of the White House until he can come up with his next grift, which will most likely be running for president in 2024.
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The Journal Sentinel notes that as soon as his campaign can come up with the funds, the recount could begin as early as Thursday and be complete by Dec. 1. Apparently, Trump has been preparing his voters for this big “fight,” which isn’t a fight because he’s got no one to fight against, so he can use all of this fundraising money he’s received to try and find votes that don’t exist or he can pay off the debt he already accumulated.

This isn’t the first time that Wisconsin has told a presidential candidate, “Fuck you, pay me.” In 2016, the state charged Jill Stein $2 million for a recount, which she did. I know that many of The Root readers are good at math so let me say that, yes they are charging Donald Trump four times what they charged Jill Stein and that’s because they are actually going to have to count votes. I mean, how hard is it to count to three? (three is the actual number of votes that Stein received in the 2016 election.)

So Trump’s got some choices to make: either he can cough up the dough and get this fake ass process underway or he can complain about how America is treating him unfairly while he continues to collect money from his followers, knowing that he has no plans to do anything other than bitch and moan, which is what he does best.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

detroitkidelo
kidelo *if you support racists, you're a racist too*

Somebody tell Wisconsin to not take a check!