Fuck Georgia Sen. David Perdue and his family’s chickens.
News Editor Monique Judge: I never interrupt your stories this early, but David Perdue is not affiliated with Perdue chicken. We’ve talked about this before, whenever you try to claim that Magic Johnson and his son EJ own Johnson & Johnson.
Me: So you are saying that a white man named Perdue is not related to the other white men that own Perdue chicken?
MJ: That is exactly what I’m saying.
Me: *cough* fake news *cough*
Don’t forget that it was Perdue who acted as if he couldn’t pronounce the name of the next vice president of the United States during a Trump rally. And it was Perdue who was under mad scrutiny earlier this year after he made some 112 transactions in March in which he either sold off or purchased stock—including investing in a company that makes medical gear—before the rest of America was warned about the impending COVID-19 pandemic heading our way. He claims it was all legit, either way, fuck this guy.
So it goes without saying that I’m rooting for Jon Ossoff, the Democratic challenger to take Perdue’s Georgia Senate seat, and Ossoff came out swinging in the pair’s final debate just days before the November election.
Ossoff called Perdue a crook right to his face, and he said it as a matter of fact because fuck this guy Perdew or P-dew or however he spells his name.
The pair met in Savannah on Wednesday night for their second and final debate, lobbing charged attacks at each other as Democrats spend heavily in the state in an attempt to flip the Senate. Polls are neck-and-neck, although the race could lead to a runoff if neither candidate secures 50% of the vote.
“It’s not just that you’re a crook, Senator,” Ossoff said at one heated moment in the debate, referencing a series of stock trades Perdue made in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic after receiving a closed-door briefing. “It’s that you’re attacking the health of the people that you represent. You did say COVID-19 was no deadlier than the flu. You did say there would be no significant uptick in cases. All the while you were looking after your own assets and your own portfolio.”
Taking a page out of his master’s book, Perdue began lying on Ossoff, claiming he backed out of the Green New Deal (not true) and claiming he supported “socialized medicine” (also not true). Perdue has even gone as far as claiming that Ossoff is backed by the Communist Party USA (another lie).
Prayerfully, Perdue will get his political ass beat and no longer have a seat at the table where the only thing he brings is his family’s fuck-ass chickens.