Here’s a question I find myself asking on a near-daily basis: What the hell is wrong with white people?
A white man and his equally white wife lost their jobs after a video went viral showing the man verbally assaulting a Lyft driver in an n-word-laced rant after the driver instructed him to keep his face mask on while he was in his car.
If this story regarding white people who can’t seem to express their already-stupid objections to face mask mandates without being racist sounds familiar, it probably isn’t because you’ve already seen this report; it’s because white people keep doing shit like this over and over and over again.
In this recent video, the man identified by the driver and his wife as “Joe” can be heard repeatedly calling the driver a “fucking sand nigger.” His wife—identified as “Karen Joe” by me—can be seen walking around the car and telling her husband, “Joe, stop. I’m videoing, stop.”
You can tell the star of “The Klanmaid’s Tale” doesn’t really understand how the whole viral “videoing” thing works. She appears to think that recording the driver kicking her and her husband out of his car for easily understandable reasons was going to get him fired.
“I got your license plate,” she said. “You should never drive Lyft again.”
As it turns out, the only ones to lose their jobs behind the incident are discount Archie and Edith Bunker. (Joe and Karen Joe somehow manage to be more racist and less likable than the original.)
In fact, not only were they fired after the video was posted to social media, but they’re apparently facing eviction as well.
“We both lost the best jobs we’ve ever had and are being evicted from the house we rent,” Joe told the New York Post via email, adding that “there really is no context to the incident—my behavior in the video was despicable.”
In case anyone is interested in witnessing a bigot groveling for forgiveness, here’s the rest of Joe’s apology as reported by the Post:
“I humbly apologize for my behavior towards David K. the Lyft driver on Tuesday night,” he told The Post, asking to be identified only as “Joe from Issaquah.”
“I should have never said the things I said nor acted like a complete idiot.
“He didn’t deserve that. Nobody does. I had too much to drink and lost control of my tongue and I said horrible things that I truly regret.
“Watching the video was hard for me; it was if I didn’t recognize the person. I let myself down, I let my friends and family down, I let my company down, I let our whole country down,” he said, dramatically.
“I ask for forgiveness and mercy from literally everyone, especially David the driver, the Lyft community, my family and friends and our community.”
On second thought, I’m really not interested in getting to the bottom of why white people are like this; I just enjoy seeing them face the consequences of their racism.
I’m just going to celebrate this moment with my favorite jam of 2020: