‘You’re Not Getting It, I’m Not a Nazi,’ They Said While Wearing Nazi Masks in a Minnesota Walmart

Illustration for article titled ‘You’re Not Getting It, I’m Not a Nazi,’ They Said While Wearing Nazi Masks in a Minnesota Walmart
Screenshot: The Central Avenue YouTube

White supremacists who tout themselves as arbiters of patriotism while wearing the symbols of forces America went to war against will never not be amusing and aggravating at the same damn time. If they’re not wrapping themselves in the battle flags of Confederate traitors, they’re wearing the mark of the fascist regime the U.S. fought against in World War II.

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On Saturday, a white Minnesota couple got themselves banned from all Walmart stores for a year after being filmed wearing swastika face masks on the first day that the state’s mask mandate took effect.

Now, many of you are probably assuming that this couple of Third Reich rejects showing their asses in this Marshall, Minn., Walmart were simply complying with state ordinances that require face coverings while also expressing their views that concentration camps get a bad rap. Well, according to the video, it turns out that neo-Nazi Al and Peg Bundy were actually only trying to put the message out there that a vote for former vice president and presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden is a vote to turn America into Nazi Germany—and they’re apparently confused as to why wearing swastikas on their faces didn’t make that clear.

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The Washington Post reports that in the video—which was recorded by Raphaela Mueller, who says she was born and raised in Germany and, accompanied by her partner Benjamin Ruesch, confronted Klan Ken and Karen about their offensive face coverings—Ruesch can be heard repeatedly calling the couple “sick” and saying to Nazi Nancy, “You can’t be American and wear that mask.”

“You cannot,” he continues. “We literally had a war about this.”

“I’m trying to tell people what’s going to happen in America,” the Hitler fangirl replied as her partner in hate-crime declared from the register that “We’re living under a socialist state.” (Hubby is also wearing a pro-Trump T-shirt, but don’t worry, I’m sure he immediately recognizes the contradiction of wearing “Make America Great Again” on his chest while wearing “Heil Hitler” on his face.)

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Of course, Fascist Fiona continues to insist that she and Swastika Sam aren’t the Nazis, Democratic voters are.

“If you vote for Biden, you’re going to be living in Nazi Germany,” she said. “That’s what it’s going to be like.”

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After a third customer told her “We don’t want you in our neighborhood,” Becky Burn-a-Cross responded, “You’re not getting it, I’m not a Nazi.”

Apparently, conservatives can’t do shit right when it comes to protesting.

The actions of this white nationalist cosplay couple are reminiscent of when Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. revealed his plan to protest Virginia mask requirements by wearing a mask that showed Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam in blackface standing next to someone in a KKK hood. The message FAILwell was trying to convey was that “Democrats are and always have been the real racists in this country,” and he thought putting a picture of a Klan member on his own face made that perfectly clear.

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I’m sure the guy who wore a KKK hood in a California grocery store was only trying to send the message that, in Biden’s America, the government will take all of our white linen along with our guns and freedom of speech and all white people will have left is their grandfathers’ Klan robes.

Anyway, according to the Star Tribune, the police eventually arrived at Walmart and served the couple with trespass notices. The Associated Press reports that they were banned from all Walmart stores for at least a year.

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“We strive to provide a safe and comfortable shopping environment for all our customers and will not tolerate any form of discrimination or harassment in any aspect of our business,” Walmart said in a statement to the Post. “We are asking everyone to wear face coverings when they enter our stores for their safety and the safety of others and it’s unfortunate that some individuals have taken this pandemic as an opportunity to create a distressing situation for customers and associates in our store.”

Zack Linly is a poet, performer, freelance writer, blogger and grown man lover of cartoons

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DISCUSSION

detroitkidelo
kidelo *now with resting mask face*

Hey Maw? ‘Member how in Nazi Germany Hitler made all dem Hitler Youth dress up an wear Swastikas n shit? An ‘member how he made them march in formation an yell hi-yel Hitler n all that?

Yes Paw?

Wail, if thatn Joe Bidn wins, hes gonna make alluvus wear masks with Swastikas onnem just liken that Hitler.

Wut?

You just wait. In fact, I think we oughta do a protest down to the WalMart and show erryone just what Biden’s Murrica gone look like when he wins.

Um. Ok, Paw. I’m out my cream anyhow.

Edit to add: who has swastika shit just lying around their house to make masks out of?