First lady Melania Trump arrives in the Rose Garden at the White House on May 7, 2018, in Washington, D.C.
Photo: Win McNamee (Getty Images)

A woman with the facial structure and permanent scowl worn by first lady Melania Trump made an appearance Monday evening with her husband and legal captor, Donald Trump.

The woman who answered to the name Melania was alongside the president during a ceremony to honor Gold Star families. While many, including this writer, believe that the real Melania had enough of the president’s blowhard, deceitful tactics and dug a tunnel out of her private bedroom to escape, this was the first public appearance for “Melania” in 24 days.

“She looked good, and it was reassuring,” Tony Cordero, 56, whose father was killed in Vietnam, told People magazine. “I think everyone was relieved to see she was healthy and up and about.”

“She looked beautiful, perfectly fit and healthy,” Bonnie Carroll, who also attended the ceremony, told the magazine.

Clearly, the woman playing Melania did a good job of fooling those who aren’t familiar with her. The first lady disappeared went into hiding escaped was last seen in public on May 10, just days before she underwent surgery to treat a “benign kidney condition.” According to reports from the White House—which are about as believable as Verbal Kent spinning a yarn—Melania returned home on Saturday, May 19, but remained out of the spotlight. She didn’t go to Camp David last weekend, but that wasn’t a big deal, considering that she openly hates the president.

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According to Melania’s spokesperson, the first lady, or the woman they have been parading around to look like her, won’t be attending the G-7 summit in Canada with her husband, or going on the June 12 trip to Singapore for her husband’s rescheduled meeting with North Korean leaders. This is probably because the hologram posing as the first lady doesn’t work outside of the White House.

Because the president is a grade A, farm-raised asshole, he obviously referenced his wife disappearance, noting that she’d been taking time out to rest, and then laughed off rumors that the two were headed for divorce, saying that it wasn’t happening: “Isn’t that right, honey?” he said.

And the Russian bot posing as Melania smiled.

Until I hear this Melania speak, I can only assume that this woman posing as Melania is a movable 3D image with a permanent frown that still doesn’t want to hold the president’s hand.