Twitter Fingers: President Troll Face Just Tweeted That He Wants Iranian Gunboats ‘Shot Down’ for Trolling

Illustration for article titled Twitter Fingers: President Troll Face Just Tweeted That He Wants Iranian Gunboats ‘Shot Down’ for Trolling
Photo: MANDEL NGAN/ (Getty Images)

President 6ix9ine is about to get us into a shitload of shit during a global pandemic when no one can safely leave the goddamn house without a full-on gas mask.

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On Wednesday, for some reason—and that reason is probably that the “wartime president” is losing the silent war against the coronavirus—the president instructed the U.S. Navy to “shoot down and destroy any and all Iranian gunboats” that harass U.S. ships.

“I have instructed the United States Navy to shoot down and destroy any and all Iranian gunboats if they harass our ships at sea,” Trump wrote.

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Yes, he really wrote a war directive on a social media site because he either doesn’t care about the lives of those he’s endangering or he loves to wave his dick around on social media.

According to CNN, senior Pentagon officials tried to clean up the president’s tweet by noting that it was a “lawful order though it did not mark a change in the rules of engagement.”

“The President issued an important warning to the Iranians. What he was emphasizing is all of our ships retain the right of self-defense and people need to be very careful in their interactions to understand the inherent right of self-defense,” Deputy Defense Secretary David Norquist told reporters at the Pentagon.

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Nah, son. We know how to read, and we know that the president said to “shoot down” all boats that continue to harass U.S. Navy ships. That doesn’t sound like a warning. I mean, granted, it’s an incorrect statement, as planes are shot down, but we get the point. And you know who else gets it? Iranian gunboats and anyone else in Iran who now wants to post a video to WorldStar boasting that the U.S. has to check in.

“We don’t need any more direction in order to do that. I think the President’s message was crystal clear and we don’t need any more actions,” Gen. John Hyten, vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff said, CNN reports. He added that there is a line now and Iran should not cross it. Bitch, we out here playing with lines and crossings and this is going to get bad!

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From CNN:

The tweet is the latest provocative threat Trump has levied against Tehran amid scrutiny of his handling of the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, and raises fears about the possibility of a miscalculation between the two longtime foes.

Tensions sharply escalated in January when the US killed Iran’s second most powerful official, Gen. Qasem Soleimani, and earlier this month, Trump, without citing any evidence, claimed that his administration had information that “Iran or its proxies are planning a sneak attack on US troops and/or assets in Iraq.” He warned of a “heavy price” to pay if such acts were carried out.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo also commented on the tweet in a briefing at the State Department, saying the President has been clear to the State and Defense Departments “to do everything we need to do to make sure that we protect and defend our officers, our military officers, our diplomats around the world, to continue to ensure that they are secure and safe.”

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Last week, the U.S. Navy released a video that showed these tiny-ass gunboats doing the equivalent of “I’m not touching you” against these big-ass U.S. Navy warships in the North Arabian Sea. The Navy even claimed that one Iranian vessel came with 10 yards of colliding with a Navy ship.

Wait, hol’ up! Now we know why the president tweeted out his sternly worded tweet. Apparently Fox and Friends, also known as the president’s chiefs of staff, reported on the incident and added that Iran had just launched its first military satellite an hour before the president posted his bully-tweet.

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So here we go: The president is literally about to tweet us into a fight with Iran when half of the country is trying to figure out when Congress is going to get busy sending out this second round of stimulus checks so we can put something in our Instacarts.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

Boats don’t fly.