Illustration for article titled Trump Reportedly Ate Notes After Meeting With Michael Cohen: Report
Photo: Charlie Riedel (Ap Images)

Former White House aide Omarosa Manigault Newman continues to keep her name in the mix of Love and Hip Hop: White House, now claiming that your boy, President AssHandles Von BackAcne ate paper allegedly filled with notes after meeting with then-lawyer Michael Cohen.


Omarosa claims in her new book “Look at Me, I’m Inside My Massa’s House” “Unhinged: An Insider Account of the Trump White House” that she witnessed the president eat paper which is totally believable because he eats soggy-ass KFC.

“I saw him put a note in his mouth. Since Trump was ever the germaphobe, I was shocked he appeared to be chewing and swallowing the paper. It must have been something very, very sensitive,” according to an excerpt of the book obtained by The Washington Post.


Several aides told the Post that Trump wasn’t eating paper but that he just has little pale fingers that look fragile and small like a tiny, single sheet of looseleaf, college-ruled notebook paper.

White House Press Secretary Sarah “Suckabee” Sanders, the public pipeline from which flows many of Trump’s lies, called Omarosa a “disgruntled former White House employee” who is “trying to profit off false attacks,” Newsweek reports.

While Suckabee is the devil’s mouthpiece, she isn’t necessarily wrong here. Omarosa is a bitter ex-employee who was the “Woo Woo Woo” to Trump’s Jeffery Osborne.

So her claims of Trump’s racism, misogyny, and out bigotry are falling flat considering that she was willing to bring him his daily supply of warm ox blood and rattails before bed each night. But now that she’s outside the club looking in, she’s got so much to say about how despicable Trump is.


Whether true or not, Omarosa’s funniest allegation is that Trump got into a fuss-fight with a White House usher over reportedly insisting that he have his tanning bed installed.

But, like Melania’s recipe for seasoning chicken, we know that we must take everything Omarosa says with a grain of salt.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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