Photo: Win McNamee (Getty Images)

The wifi signal in the presidential dungeon was at full strength Friday morning as the president woke from his slumber, slaughtered a baby goat, gulped down a warm cup of baby goat blood (it really gets the hate juices flowing) and still had time to rage tweet that he’s going to shut down the entire southern border if he doesn’t get money for his dumb-ass wall that no one wants.

Using mob tactics that have proven to work in Scorsese movies and in back rooms at the Bada Bing, the president threatened Democrats, who have no control over whether the president receives funding for his wall since Congress is entirely under Republican rule until January. In a series of tweets, he claimed that he will take America and go home if he isn’t allowed to win!

“We will be forced to close the Southern Border entirely if the Obstructionist Democrats do not give us the money to finish the Wall & also change the ridiculous immigration laws that our Country is saddled with,” the president tweeted, the Hill reports.

He also slammed past presidents and Congresses, claiming that the nation’s current immigration laws were a joke.

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“Hard to believe there was a Congress & President who would approve!”

Trump wants everyone to forget that before the government shutdown, Congress looked to pass a stopgap bill that would’ve kept the government up and running and given him a portion of the funding for his dumb-ass wall that no one wants. The president initially planned on signing it until Fox News, the president’s personal YouTube channel, began bashing him for being soft on the wall. The president suddenly decided that his wall must be funded. And now, as with most things with this president, he’s blaming the evil Democrats.

Trump continued tweeting Friday morning as several aides banged on his coffin asking him to stop. Somehow the president connected his demand for wall funding with trade, claiming the U.S. “was losing money through the North American Trade Agreement and that closing the border would be a ‘profit-making operation.’”

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From The Hill:

The U.S runs a trade deficit with Mexico, but outside observers have said that closing the border could cause economic chaos given the amount of trade and people who legally cross the border every day.

According to a report earlier this month by CBS News, about $558 million in goods flowed across the border in both directions last year. It found that the U.S. exported $243.3 billion in goods across the border along with $58 billion in services.

Nearly a half million people enter the U.S. each day at various entry points on the southern border, according to a Wilson Center report cited by CBS.

Duncan Wood, director of the Wilson Center’s Mexico Institute, told CBS MoneyWatch that shutting down the border would cost “hundreds of millions of dollars a day” or “maybe a billion.”

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Trump also claimed that closing the border would bring the auto industry back to the U.S.

And ended his symphony of stupidity by accusing “Honduras, Guatemala and El Salvador” of taking money from the U.S. and threatening to cut off aid to the countries.

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While Congress appropriates money for aid to foreign countries, ending or reducing money to foreign countries would require congressional approval and Trump isn’t likely to ever see another bill—be it a phone bill, credit card bill or automobile—approved once the Dems take over the House in January.

Trump was adamant during the disastrous meeting with House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.) earlier this month that he would take all of the blame for a government shutdown. Well, it’s about time that he owns it.

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According to the Hill, “the shutdown has left 800,000 federal employees furloughed or forced to work without pay through the holidays” but Trump doesn’t care because most of them are Democrats.

A Reuters/Ipsos poll released Thursday found more people blame Trump for the shutdown than Democrats. In the poll, 33 percent blamed Democrats in Congress for the shutdown, compared to 47 percent who blamed Trump.

Seven percent blamed Republicans in Congress, and 12 percent blamed “other.” The 12 percent who blamed “other” really wanted to blame Trump but their allegiance to his stupidity and racism wouldn’t allow them to do it.

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The government shutdown, much like all of the mess created since this administration took over the White House, falls at the perfectly Vietnam-ready feet of the president. And much like Trump steaks, Trump University and Trump Taj Mahal before it, America is failing and it’s all Trump’s fault.