President Donald Trump really believes that if he’s impeached chaos would ensue. He honestly believes that his tiki torch mob would set this world ablaze and the world would stink of fire and brimstone.
Also, what is brimstone and where can I buy it? It sounds evil and it’s usually associated with evil but I’ve been trying to come up on some just in case The Root has to throw a celebratory impeachment cookout.
On Tuesday the president of people who believe that BoJack Horseman is an amazing show told Reuters reporters in the Oval Office that if potential impeachment even comes close to him, the world will rue the day!
When asked if he was worried about possible impeachment proceedings, the president noted, “I’m not concerned, no,” then added, “I think that the people would revolt if that happened,” Politico reports.
When Trump claims that people will revolt, he is referring to people in the midwest who attend his rallies and believe that boiling meat is a perfectly acceptable way to handle meat. These people also believe that finding roadkill is a come-up and will vote against their self-interest because they get high off racism.
Or maybe he’s just talking about Mississippi’s Senator-elect Cindy Hyde-Smith, who is already on StubHub looking for first-row impeachment lynch mob tickets.
Trump also said that the media needs to stop tripping off the fact that he had his then-lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen pay off two former women who claimed that they had affairs with them. Yes, he had affairs with them and yes, he paid to silence them, but Trump claims that it wasn’t a violation of federal campaign laws because he didn’t use campaign funds.
On Friday, federal prosecutors in the Southern District of New York revealed more details behind the charges against Cohen, Trump’s former lawyer and fixer. Prosecutors allege that Cohen paid off the adult-film actress Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, a former Playboy model, during the final weeks of the presidential campaign in coordination with and directed by Trump himself—potentially meaning the president could be charged with a felony, although legal experts say that this is unlikely to occur while he’s in office and that convicting Trump is far from a done deal.
The president also said if there were any laws violated by the hush money payments, it was Cohen’s fault, not his.
“Michael Cohen is a lawyer,” Trump said. “I assume he would know what he’s doing.”
For those keeping score at home, Trump claimed in April that he had no idea that Cohen made a $130,000 payment to Daniels. Then he claimed that he did know but it wasn’t a violation. Now he’s claiming that he knew, but it didn’t violate any federal campaign laws. Basically, the president stay lying and can’t keep his side piece stories straight.
By the way, you can hit up the comment section to make the case for why you should be invited to The Root’s impeachment cookout and fish fry.
If you need me, I’ll be on Amazon searching for reasonably-priced brimstone.