Illustration for article titled Trump Administration Looking to Reopen America Next Month Because They’re All Idiots
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Dr. Ben Carson is a world-renowned surgeon who may go down in history as one of the best to ever wield a scalpel. He’s currently a member of the Trump administration, and his position? He’s the doctor of housing. He may have been the only hope in terms of flattening the curve of idiocy inside the Trump administration, but he doesn’t speak loud enough for anyone to listen to him.

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So when it comes to anything remotely science-based coming from anyone in the Trump administration, it’s probably best that we agree as a country to ignore it.

For some reason, the Trump administration is looking to reopen the country next month without the advice of health experts, who have already warned this dumb-ass administration that ending the shutdown too soon could spark a possible coronavirus resurgence if the restrictions aren’t given enough time to work.

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But when it comes to Trump caring more about American people or the failing economy, it’s clear that Trump will always choose to protect the bag. Apparently this dumb-ass president who no one wanted is looking to resume business as usual on May 1, the Washington Post reports.

From the Post:

Behind closed doors, President Trump — concerned with the sagging economy — has sought a strategy for resuming business activity by May 1, according to people familiar with the discussions.

In phone calls with outside advisers, Trump has even floated trying to reopen much of the country before the end of this month, when the current federal recommendations to avoid social gatherings and work from home expire, the people said. Trump regularly looks at unemployment and stock market numbers, complaining that they are hurting his presidency and reelection prospects, the people said.

Like others, they spoke on the condition of anonymity to reveal internal discussions.

Trump said at his daily briefing Thursday that the United States was at the “top of the hill” and added, “Hopefully, we’re going to be opening up — you could call it opening — very, very, very, very soon, I hope.”

Multiple cabinet members support the idea of at least a partial reopening of the country next month because every one of Trump’s cabinet members are fucking idiots.

Attorney General William Barr, aka Evil Fred Flintstone, appeared on Fox News and called stay-at-home orders and other restrictions “draconian” and suggested that he would do anything the president wanted because he’s into role play and is often asked to be the submissive.

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“When this period of time, at the end of April expires, I think we have to allow people to adapt more than we have, and not just tell people to go home and hide under their bed, but allow them to use other ways—social distancing and other means—to protect themselves,” Barr said on Fox News, the Post reports.

Here is the funny part: Even if the White House wanted to reopen the country, they can’t. The states are following the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s advice against social gatherings. So, states would decide when and if they’ll reopen.

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The White House doesn’t seem to understand how any of this works, as they have reportedly contemplated reopening states with fewer cases of coronavirus while leaving “hotspot” states on lockdown.

Anthony S. Fauci, the nation’s top expert on infectious diseases, said Thursday that he could see a scenario in which “some places might reopen sooner than others,” but added that places like New York, which is currently the epicenter for the virus, “shouldn’t loosen its restrictions until there was a ‘very steep decline’ in infections,” the Post reports.

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“It’s not going to be one size fits all,” he said.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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