Jacob Copeland’s mom was not here for his Florida shenanigans (ESPN via YouTube screenshot)

On Wednesday, aka National Signing Day, aka one of the biggest days in college football, aka the day that Midwesterners and Southerners wait for all year, the day top high school players stop dating and make it official with the college of their choice. There are usually cheers and tears and smiles and bitter beer faces, but rarely are all of these emotions encapsulated in one video. That’s because four-star wide receiver Jacob Copeland hadn’t chosen his college until Wednesday.

Copeland, who was choosing among Tennessee, Alabama and Florida, was surrounded by several people, including his mother, and when Copeland announced that he would be taking his talents to Gainesville, Copeland’s mother—who was draped in an Alabama sweatshirt and Tennessee hat—exchanged a look with a woman off-camera (who may or may not be her sister but is definitely Copeland’s auntie) and then grabbed her purse and walked off the set.

Needless to say, I have questions. I don’t have answers to a lot of them, but maybe we can all make this make sense in the comments. Together.

  • Why didn’t Jacob tell his mother that he was choosing Florida?
  • Why did Jacob have on an Alabama red suit and bow tie, only to flip it and choose Florida?
  • Why did his mother have on a Tennessee and an Alabama sweatshirt?
  • Who are those people behind Jacob?
  • Who is the white woman?
  • Why is the white woman so upset?
  • Why is she there?
  • Seriously, what is Rebekah doing in this video?
  • How do I know that her name is Rebekah?
  • How come her name isn’t Becky?
  • Why is one of these names more formal?
  • Why is she holding on so tightly to the black guy?
  • Why did Jacob’s mother leave?
  • Why did she take her purse?
  • Did she drive off?
  • Did she have to drive back?
  • Why is Florida such a bad choice?
  • Why is Florida so racist?
  • Why can’t we just cut Florida off the map and let it float into the Gulf of Mexico?
  • Did Jacob choose his final three schools based on which schools are most likely to be in the most racist part of town?
  • Why does Jacob look like he has a pension?
  • Seriously, are there any schools more likely to be filled with racists besides these three schools?
  • Who is the white guy standing next to Rebekah?
  • Why did Jacob’s mom look like she had her car keys out already?
  • Did they have a conversation on the ride over to the school?
  • Did they have the “bet-not” conversation driving over to the school? (As in you “bet-not” play me on national television!)
  • Why is Jacob sitting next to his science teacher, Mr. Kerfuffle?
  • Where did Jacob find a blood-red suit?
  • Why does Jacob look like he’s four years into his master’s degree?
  • Why did Jacob’s crying at the end when his mom came back give me the This Is Us feels?
  • Why am I rooting for Jacob now?