The Seattle Seahawks Are Making Googly Eyes at Free Agent Headache Antonio Brown as His 8-Game Suspension Draws to a Close: 'We're in It'

Illustration for article titled The Seattle Seahawks Are Making Googly Eyes at Free Agent Headache Antonio Brown as His 8-Game Suspension Draws to a Close: Were in It
Photo: Christian Petersen (Getty Images)

Antonio Brown is the David Ruffin of the NFL.

No matter how much of a fucking pain in the ass he is—from destroying the locker room in Pittsburgh, to calling Raiders general manager Mike Mayock a “cracker” and threatening to beat his face in in Oakland, to getting dropped in New England after sexual misconduct and intimidation allegations surfaced, to allegedly assaulting a moving truck driver, to accusing the NFL of racism—all it takes is a single “baby, baby please” and teams will trip all over each other to gawk and fawn over the NFL’s favorite sideshow.

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So with Brown’s eight-game suspension for multiple violations of the league’s personal-conduct policy drawing to a close, it would appear that the Seattle Seahawks will be the latest contestants in the “Antonio Brown Gave Me an Ulcer” sweepstakes.

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Word on the street is that the Ravens are also in the mix, but considering they have plans to snatch up Dez Bryant to their practice squad—pending a physical—Seattle has emerged as the frontrunner for Brown’s services.

So aside from chest pains from elevated stress, what does 32-year-old Brown bring to a team with an MVP-caliber quarterback, emerging receivers already in place like D.K. Metcalf, and an undefeated 5-0 record? Why not bolster their lineup on the defensive side of the ball instead, where the team currently ranks 26th in defensive efficiency?

Why in the hell is Seattle extending a formal invite to a nigga who can hit the high notes, but would much rather snort coke, skip shows and create chaos within the group? Y’all really trying to win a championship here or nah?

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In a desperate attempt to make four plus four equal seventeen, coach Pete Carroll tried to explain Seattle’s interest on SiriusXM NFL Radio.

“The thing I can tell you about it, competitively, [G.M. John Schneider is] in on everything,” Carroll said. “He knows everybody in the league, he knows what’s going on, he’s kept us involved and has made marvelous moves over the years. We’ll see how this one—you know, we’re there, we’re in it and we know what’s happening. It isn’t settled yet and we don’t know where it is going to go but we’re always on the ready to compete to get guys and so this is one of those chances and we’ll see what happens.”

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Russell Wilson is on board with the idea, as well. In August, he showered the seven-time Pro Bowler with praise after they spent part of the offseason together getting in reps.

“I was able to work out with him this offseason and he’s one of the best receivers of all time,” Wilson told reporters. “So anytime you can get a guy like that, you are always interested in that, for sure. We want play-makers for sure. And the more play-makers you get, the harder it is [to defend].”

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Clearly, nothing is set in stone, but this might be something to keep an eye on in the coming weeks. Either for the explosive results on the field, or similar results in the locker room.

Menace to supremacy. Founder of Extraordinary Ideas and co-host and producer of The Extraordinary Negroes podcast. Impatiently waiting for ya'll to stop putting sugar in grits.

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DISCUSSION

ColonelHotdog
ColonelHotdog

Since I’m typing this within the borders of the city of Seattle, allow me to say:

Please, don’t.

My second comment is... from that clip of Wilson and Brown playing a thrilling game of ‘catch’ - they could be listening to literally anything while working out, and they opt for the hardcore, strictly-for-the-streets styling of... Will Smith. This almost as damning as if they had been listening to anything by Seattle “artist” Macklemore.