roll call
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T-Pain Outchea Singin' Without Auto-Tune And Sounding Good!
Who knew T-Pain could actually sing? I’m sure of you did. But some of us didn’t. Either way, I already enjoying people singing ignorant things, but there’s a special enjoyment given that this is T-Pain, a man for whom the industry that now THRIVES on auto-tune seems to have left him behind. By the way, I…
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10 Things Less Somehow Less Predictable Than Chief Keef Getting Dropped From His Label
Chief Keef was recently dropped from Interscope. Here’s a list of things somehow less predictable than that predictable-ass news. 1. The wetness of water 2. Orange juice tasting like a combination of oranges, water, and sugar 3. Pharrell Williams saying something that only makes sense to Jaden Smith and albino carrier pigeons 4. The inherent…
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When White People Attack…Pumpkins
This past Saturday, a riot broke out during the New Hampshire Pumpkin Festival, resulting in police releasing tear gas and pepper spray into the crowd. Expletives (and allegedly, beer cans and bottles) were hurled at police. Arrests were made. Somehow, though, no one was killed for it. Maybe the true magic safety color here is…
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Spiders The Size of Puppies? Fuck Nature, Yo.
“The South American Goliath birdeater (real name!) has a footlong legspan and two-inch fangs. Its body is about the size of a fist and it is the largest spider in the world—that we know of.” One more reason I just do not fuck with nature, b. I just don’t. Why is a spider this damn…
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ELLE Magazine "Discovers" Timberland Trend; The Entire 1990s Says "Discover Deez"
Social media was all aflutter when ELLE Magazine’s (Blackity Black Black Black ya’ll) fashion editor, Danielle Prescod took it upon herself to take a ride in a Delorean and claim Timberlands as the new hot “IT” winter boot. Okay, there was no Delorean involved. But, it should’ve been. Because, um uh ruh… they been a…
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VSB Contributor Tunde Akinyeke Named On List Of Black Dudes In STEM And Shit
You might remember Kyla McMullen’s original list of 73 sexy sistas in science, which won points for alliteration and for exposing us to so many Black women in labcoats, a strange fetish of Damon’s. This follow up lists 105 men, including VSB contributor Tunde Akinyeke (with the fresh line up) and friends of VSB Berook Alemayehu and Clarence…
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Raven Labels Self "Colorless and American." World Replies "Colorless And American' Is NOT A Color, Raven"
Raven-Symoné recently waxed poetically about labels on Oprah’s “Where Are They Now?” special, and has (old) Black America in a tizzy. Raven expressed her dislike of labels, stating that she would not like to be labeled “gay” or “African-American.” She confirmed she is simply American, colorless, and human. Which are all labels, by the way. Colorless,…
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Fuck The Police, Volume 3,456,789,777,841,546,354,147
At this point, providing commentary on police fuckery is pointless. We all know that police are violating as many rights as they’re maintaining they uphold. Also, miss me with the good cops story. I’m sure there are some guys out there doing their job…until shit hits the fan and its “them” (aka the the citizens)…
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Why You Don't Want To Be Dale Decker: The Guy Who Can't Stop Having Orgasms
Wisconsin man Dale Decker is pretty much on self-inflicted house arrest because he suffers from persistent genital arousal syndrome, which occurred after he slipped a disc while standing up. Talk about a FREAK accident. Hey yooooo! Seriously, though, this sounds like a nightmare. Imagine having 100 uncontrollable orgasms a day. Ya’ll hear FDA folks warning about prolonged…
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Tyler Perry Expecting Human Baby: Written, Directed, Produced By And Starring Tyler Perry
Apparently, Tyler Perry announced at his 45th birthday party that he was expecting his first child. Naturally, I figured this meant a mini-Tyler Perry would debut in nothing less than film fashion. And because one of the stars of Tyler Perry’s films are the titles themselves, I came up with five and a possible: 1.…