Why You Don't Want To Be Dale Decker: The Guy Who Can't Stop Having Orgasms

Wisconsin man Dale Decker is pretty much on self-inflicted house arrest because he suffers from persistent genital arousal syndrome, which occurred after he slipped a disc while standing up. Talk about a FREAK accident. Hey yooooo! Suggested Reading Why LeBron James is Getting Dragged For His MLK-Inspired Nike Sneakers The Heartbreaking Fate of a Former Nickelodeon…

Wisconsin man Dale Decker is pretty much on self-inflicted house arrest because he suffers from persistent genital arousal syndrome, which occurred after he slipped a disc while standing up. Talk about a FREAK accident. Hey yooooo!

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Seriously, though, this sounds like a nightmare. Imagine having 100 uncontrollable orgasms a day. Ya’ll hear FDA folks warning about prolonged Viagra effects…imagine having that forever and at THEE most inappropriate times. My boy Dale told us to imagine being at your dad’s funeral, going to view his casket, and having nine orgasms…right there.

Or imagine having one while on a job interview.

Or passing through airport security.

Or playing hopscotch at a farmer’s market.

Or while speaking to a community watch group about raccoon control.

Or while asking for directions to a yoga pants store.

Or when picking your neighbor’s kid up from school.

NO. NOPE. UNSUBSCRIBE.

Roll Call is a daily collection of interesting news stories, articles, blogs, and thinkpieces, curated by Tonja Stidhum and Natalie Degraffinried. They both have big hair, but they are not the same person.

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