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  • Burger King To Pay For "Burger-King" Wedding

    Whenever I think of God’s sense of humor, I think of things like a couple with the respective surnames of Burger and King coming together in matrimonial bliss. That’s exactly what happened when Illinois childhood sweethearts, Joel Burger and Ashley King’s engagement went viral. Shortly after, Burger King decided to get in on the fun…

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  • McDonalds Auctions Off (Not So) Special Sauce For $23K

    Ya’ll remember the McDonald’s Big Mac commercial jingle? I (barely) do since I was a young cheeks when those commercials were poppin’. It was the infamous, “two all beef patties, Special Sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.” Which seems like a lot of ingredients when you say them all and it wouldn’t fit on…

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  • Comcast's Gon' Comcast: Cable Company Renames Former Customer "Asshole Brown"

    Raise your hand if you need any other reason to hate Comcast other than it being Comcast? Exactly. But, since Comcast is clearly an overachiever, one of its retention specialists changed a customer’s monthly statements under the name of “Asshole Brown” instead of their actual name, Ricardo Brown. This spawned from a disagreement between Ricardo’s…

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  • 2 Termzzzz: 2 Chainz Wants To Run For Mayor Of College Park, Georgia

    Remember that recent debate between 2 Chainz and Nancy Grace about marijuana legalization? Well, clearly the natural follow-up to that is to dive headfirst into politics. And apparently, that’s what 2 Chainz wants to do, according to his statement to The Atlanta-Journal Constitution Monday. Of course that got me wondering what a 2 Chainz campaign could look like.…

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  • Michelle Williams Tells Mike Huckabee "You Come At The Queen, You Best Not Miss"

    Apparently on an episode of The View (they still make those?), Mike Huckabee appeared and theorized in his book that Jay-Z was pimping out Beyoncé. As in, Bey’s sexual expression freedom was not because she’s an independent woman and all’at, but because Jay was making her do something she apparently doesn’t need to do: express herself…

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  • Man Buys 99 iPhones To Propose; Girlfriend Says "iDon't"

    We might as well get the obvious joke out of the way. My man has 99 iProblems and a bitch aint one. That felt good. Apparently, a dude decided to propose to his girlfriend on Singles Day so he could un-single himself. He came up with the bright idea to buy 99 iPhones and place them in the…

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  • When "Taking A Picture" With A Black Man Means You're "Throwing Gang Signs"

    So, amongst the raw frustration of the war against our Black brethren/sistren at the hands of police, is the frustration surrounding our portrayal in the media. Black victims accused of crimes unrelated to the police-driven murder, “no angel” labels, and simple/universal hand-gestures labeled as gang signs, all because of the color of the hands flashing…

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  • When White People Attack…Pumpkins

    This past Saturday, a riot broke out during the New Hampshire Pumpkin Festival, resulting in police releasing tear gas and pepper spray into the crowd. Expletives (and allegedly, beer cans and bottles) were hurled at police. Arrests were made. Somehow, though, no one was killed for it. Maybe the true magic safety color here is…

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  • ELLE Magazine "Discovers" Timberland Trend; The Entire 1990s Says "Discover Deez"

    Social media was all aflutter when ELLE Magazine’s (Blackity Black Black Black ya’ll) fashion editor, Danielle Prescod took it upon herself to take a ride in a Delorean and claim Timberlands as the new hot “IT” winter boot. Okay, there was no Delorean involved. But, it should’ve been. Because, um uh ruh… they been a…

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  • Raven Labels Self "Colorless and American." World Replies "Colorless And American' Is NOT A Color, Raven"

    Raven-Symoné recently waxed poetically about labels on Oprah’s “Where Are They Now?” special, and has (old) Black America in a tizzy. Raven expressed her dislike of labels, stating that she would not like to be labeled “gay” or “African-American.” She confirmed she is simply American, colorless, and human. Which are all labels, by the way. Colorless,…

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