Trump’s Lead Lawyer Abandons White House Titanic After Realizing He’s Been Working for an Idiot: Report

Being the lawyer for a client who won’t listen has to be difficult. Being a lawyer for the “president of not listening” even when objectives are written in all caps has to be impossible. So on Thursday, the president’s lead lawyer for the special counsel investigation, John Dowd, decided that he’d been working for a…

White House Staffer Leaks That Trump Was Warned Not to Congratulate Putin, Then Trump Got Mad About the Leak and Someone Leaked That

Because the White House staff has to talk to the president of the United States like he’s a third-grader, national security advisers put the words “DO NOT CONGRATULATE” in all caps so that the old fool would be sure not to celebrate the sham election win by Russian dictator Vladimir Putin during a call Tuesday.

Trump Congratulates Putin on His Re-Election Because He Loves the Russian President More Than He Loves America

Donald Trump loves Vladimir Putin. He openly wants to be him. He secretly wishes that he could be the president of a mob country that hosts sham elections like Putin. Like a teenage boy who’s been forbidden from hanging with the troubled boy down the street, Trump has sneaked out of the house to smoke cigarettes with…

Retaliation Firings, a Breakfront China Cabinet and a Bootleg Christian Charity: What’s Going On at Ben Carson’s Department of Housing and Urban Development?

First it was reported that Ben Carson, secretary of the Department of Housing and Urban Development, and his wife, Candy, were out here balling without a budget, buying some $31,000 of dining room furniture that included a breakfront china cabinet—because nothing says old bougie blackness like a breakfront china…

Jim Carrey Captures Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ Inner Demon in Portrait and the ‘MAGA’ Crowd Isn’t Happy

Funnyman Jim Carrey is actually a really deep dude who meditates and paints. On Saturday, Carrey released a portrait of a woman who favors White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee. Somehow, Carrey was able to capture Suckabee’s true inner-demon spirit. It’s almost impossible to truly capture…


Mad Petty: Trump Fires FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, Screwing Him Out of His Pension Days Before He Could Retire

Former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe only needed to make it until Sunday to reach his 50th birthday and a chance for an early retirement and his pension. But President Donald Trump, who has proved to be the pettiest of bitches, commanded his personal top cop, Jeff “King Keebler” Sessions, to fire McCabe.