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Someone has made off with former NBA player Charlie Villanueva’s toilet, and Villanueva swears that this isn’t a joke.

The former power forward, who last played for the Dallas Mavericks, took to Twitter to chart the whole shitty experience.

Oh, Charlie, the shit gets crazier.

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I literally can’t make this shit up. I also never thought about this, but I think that this is a good place to mention it. Villanueva is 6 feet 11, and as such, I would imagine that he has specially designed toilets that allow him to sit his tall ass down ... you know what? Forget it.

Let me just add that I have taken out a toilet or two in my day, and while I’ve never stolen a toilet, I do know that this requires some forethought and a trash bag, not to mention tools and, I almost forgot: WHO THE FUCK STEALS A TOILET?

I never, bro. Never.

But really, bro, who steals a toilet?!

And that wasn’t it. Villanueva added that he lost more from his castle than just his throne:

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While the Dallas Police Department seemed to be sleeping on the job, Twitter was there to try to help Villanueva solve the case.

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Hours later, Villanueva was still pissed.

If you have any information as to where Villanueva’s toilet may be, please reach out to him on Twitter.