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Since Ted Cruz Couldn’t Stay In Cancun, Someone Sent a Mariachi Band to His House

Illustration for article titled Since Ted Cruz Couldn’t Stay In Cancun, Someone Sent a Mariachi Band to His House
Photo: Jabin Botsford (Getty Images)

Texans without heat in the freezing temperatures were still thinking about their senator and his missed vacation when they came up with the brilliant idea to send a little bit of Cancun to his home just to show him how much they care about him.

On Sunday, a mariachi band played outside the home of Senator Ted Cruz, and it was glorious.

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If you don’t give a shit about Ted Cruz (and trust me, I totally get it) then you’ve not been up on the news about Ol’ Cancun Cruz, who took his family to the Mexican vacation spot to get away from the unballer shit going on in Texas, which included his constituents facing freezing temperatures, no heat and massive electric bills. Since the only thing that looks like Ted Cruz is the elusive bloated Bolivian hairless shitbird, vacationers quickly spotted the 10-gallon ass hat trying to escape the hell hole that Texas has become. The shamed junior senator was then forced to return home and explain what the fuck he was thinking when he left the state to escape to Mexico. Think about that for a moment: the Latino-born Rafael Edward Cruz who goes by Ted and who has been a staunch proponent of keeping Mexican migrants from entering his state fled to Mexico–there is something luscious here but I haven’t had enough coffee to figure it out.

And, get this, while Ted was kicking the lie that he was only going to Cancun to drop his family off and then planned on returning, someone on his wife’s group chat was like “Nah, he lying” and then leaked the texts to the New York Times proving that he was going to stay for five days.

“I will say Heidi’s pretty pissed at that,” Cruz said about the group text leak where his wife asked friends to flee to Cancun with them amid the “FREEZING” temps, he said on the Ruthless podcast which aired Tuesday, the New York Post reports.

Thank God for the quick-thinking Texans who saw it in their Texas-sized heart to send the band to Cruz’s house so he wouldn’t completely miss out.

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“A GoFundMe was set up by Adam Jama, from Carrollton, Texas for the mariachi band to perform and have donations go to benefit Texas Children’s Hospital,” the Post reports.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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“I will say Heidi’s pretty pissed at that,” Cruz said about the group text leak where his wife asked friends to flee to Cancun with them amid the “FREEZING” temps, he said on the Ruthless podcast which aired Tuesday, the New York Post reports.

Neither of you should be surprised. If you have any self awareness at all then you know you’re hated even among Republicans. Shit, at this point you could have told me Snowflake was the one that snitched or even setup the Mariachi band and I would have accepted that even their dog hates them enough to turn on them.

If Heidi’s pretty pissed about that, I wonder if she ever got over Ted dedicating years of his life to shilling for another trash-ass excuse for a man after he insulted her looks on national tv?