Texans without heat in the freezing temperatures were still thinking about their senator and his missed vacation when they came up with the brilliant idea to send a little bit of Cancun to his home just to show him how much they care about him.
On Sunday, a mariachi band played outside the home of Senator Ted Cruz, and it was glorious.
If you don’t give a shit about Ted Cruz (and trust me, I totally get it) then you’ve not been up on the news about Ol’ Cancun Cruz, who took his family to the Mexican vacation spot to get away from the unballer shit going on in Texas, which included his constituents facing freezing temperatures, no heat and massive electric bills. Since the only thing that looks like Ted Cruz is the elusive bloated Bolivian hairless shitbird, vacationers quickly spotted the 10-gallon ass hat trying to escape the hell hole that Texas has become. The shamed junior senator was then forced to return home and explain what the fuck he was thinking when he left the state to escape to Mexico. Think about that for a moment: the Latino-born Rafael Edward Cruz who goes by Ted and who has been a staunch proponent of keeping Mexican migrants from entering his state fled to Mexico–there is something luscious here but I haven’t had enough coffee to figure it out.
And, get this, while Ted was kicking the lie that he was only going to Cancun to drop his family off and then planned on returning, someone on his wife’s group chat was like “Nah, he lying” and then leaked the texts to the New York Times proving that he was going to stay for five days.
“I will say Heidi’s pretty pissed at that,” Cruz said about the group text leak where his wife asked friends to flee to Cancun with them amid the “FREEZING” temps, he said on the Ruthless podcast which aired Tuesday, the New York Post reports.
Thank God for the quick-thinking Texans who saw it in their Texas-sized heart to send the band to Cruz’s house so he wouldn’t completely miss out.