Roy Moore really needs to ask his wife and his friends to STFU because they aren’t doing him any favors.
Because the world is in goddamn shambles, Moore, the disgraced human who allegedly had inappropriate dealings with underage girls, is still in the running to represent Alabama in the Senate, even after all of this is coming out.
Bring back the days when a scandal could ruin an election; these days, scandals are becoming par for the course. In fact, it’s starting to be that you ain’t popping unless you have some shitty story wafting behind you.
Moore, whose entire campaign has been shrouded in allegations of sexual misconduct with teen girls, hasn’t held many rallies, but he held one Monday night, a day before the elections, and his homeboy and his wife didn’t do him any favors.
Roy Moore’s friend and fellow Vietnam War vet Bill Sailing thinks that a nod to Moore’s character is to tell the story of that one time they found themselves in a brothel in Vietnam full of child prostitutes and Moore, being the stand-up guy that he is, didn’t have sex with CHILD PROSTITUTES. And the crowd laughed at this shit because of course they did.
Then the Republican Senate candidate’s wife, Kayla Moore, took to the stage to introduce her husband, and also took the time to quell some of the rumors that have been following him since he was born.
“Fake news say he doesn’t like women in leadership positions, yet he supports me as the president of the Foundation for Moral Law, that he started 15 years ago today. So happy birthday, Foundation for Moral Law,” she began, the New York Times reports.
So far, not too bad. But then she continued:
When he first took office as chief justice many years ago, he brought with him three people from Etowah County; two were black, and one of them is here tonight. We have many friends that are black, and we also fellowship with them in church and in our home.
And then she added that her family has nothing against Jews, CNN reports:
Fake news would tell you that we don’t care for Jews. ... One of our attorneys is a Jew. We have very close friends that are Jewish, and rabbis, and we also fellowship with them.”
Normally this would be the election moment when the record scratches and the participants stop dancing. This is where the person at the podium realizes that she made a huge gaffe and gracefully bows offstage, but not in Trump’s America. Nope. This is where we are, ladies, gents and 53 percent of white women who voted against their self-interests to nominate this shit bird.
You just can’t make this shit up. Seriously, America, you are embarrassing yourself.