New York Times' Report on Trump's Taxes Confirms He Is the Worst Businessman in the World, and Don Lemon's Got Jokes

Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

In what may be the undoing of Donald Trump’s facade as the biggest, wealthiest businessman to every lace up his hard bottoms, a new report shows that Trump is exactly who we thought he was: an idiot who inherited his father’s fortune and pissed it away making bad business deals.

In a scathing report by the New York Times, which obtained 10 years of the president’s tax documents, from the years 1985 to 1994, Trump reported losses of $1.17 billion; that’s billion for those in the back of the room.

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Trump wasn’t just losing money, he was the biggest loser in America, having reported loses higher than any other individual U.S. taxpayer. Trump didn’t just hemorrhage money; he was the Mr. America of losing money for almost 10 years.

Trump didn’t just claim to be a businessman; he branded himself as a self-made billionaire, basically charting the path for Kylie Jenner, in which both forgot that they come from money and acted as if they were truly in a Dickensian reality show about hard work and bootstraps.

Despite Trump’s claims that he was America’s most famous billionaire to ever do it, he also has been extremely adamant that he wasn’t going to release his taxes, and now we know why. Trump is a con man who has lied his whole life to America, and the more the curtain is pulled back, the more we see that the Wizard of Oz is really just an orange bag of pig vomit with a tuft of blonde hair.

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, on Trump’s balls, not only formally denied a request by Congress to release Trump’s tax returns for the past six years, he’s decided on his own that Congress is overreaching, so he’s vowed not to release them. That didn’t matter to the Times, which received tax documents about Trump’s businesses, and the results were shocking only if you believed that Trump really owned all the buildings he sold his name to.

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Trump claimed losses of more than $250 million in 1990 and 1991, more than double the loses of any other American claiming six-figure subtractions in those years.

In claiming such catastrophic losses, Trump avoided paying income taxes for eight of the 10 years, according to tax documents viewed by the Times. That means one of two things: either Trump is a loser who really suffered devastating losses because he’s an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s doing, or Trump took advantage of a legal loophole to avoid paying taxes on actual earned income. My guess is that it’s a bit of both because Trump ain’t shit and he never has been. Also his father dodged taxes by using all types of fraudulent activity, including using his children to hide millions of dollars in gifts in a “sham corporation,” the Times previously reported.

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Trump’s not only lying about being self-made; since the age of 3, Trump has received at least $413 million in today’s dollars from Papa Trump’s real estate investments, the Times previously reported.

And, in what might be the most shocking part of this story is that Don Lemon, the CNN anchor with the safest afro, took to the airwaves to clown Trump. In truth Lemon, who at times has been one of the biggest apologists of whiteness, has been on Trump’s ass since the beginning. Watch him troll Trump below.

And as if the Trump show is actually being scripted, Trump did exactly what everyone would suspect he’d do Wednesday morning. Yep, he took to Twitter to defend his losses and then claimed fake news.

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From CNN:

Several weeks ago, a senior White House official told the Times, “The President got massive depreciation and tax shelter because of large-scale construction and subsidized developments. That is why the President has always scoffed at the tax system and said you need to change the tax laws. You can make a large income and not have to pay large amount of taxes.”

On Saturday, Charles J. Harder, a lawyer for the President, told the Times that the tax information the newspaper acquired was “demonstrably false” and that the Times’ statements “about the President’s tax returns and business from 30 years ago are highly inaccurate.” He didn’t cite any specific errors, according to the newspaper.

On Tuesday, Harder told the Times, “IRS transcripts, particularly before the days of electronic filing, are notoriously inaccurate” and “would not be able to provide a reasonable picture of any taxpayer’s return.”

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So now everyone is wrong—the New York Times, the non-electronic tax returns, the eyes of the American people, they are all wrong; Trump is not a con man. But then again, the best con is proving that there is no trick, that there is no slight of hand, that the nickel really did jump from the magician’s hand to be found behind the unsuspecting child’s ear. Or, in Trump’s case, the nickel his father gave him—which he claimed to have worked for and earned on his own —was really cited as a loss to avoid taxes, and he’s truthfully earned billions of nickels in legit real estate deals that have nothing to do with Russia.

Voila.

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About the author

Stephen A. Crockett Jr.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.