Mike Pence to Get Televised COVID-19 Vaccine; Biden, Some Time Next Week

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In an attempt to ensure Americans (read anti-vaxers and Black folks) that the coronavirus vaccine is safe, Vice President and sexless robot Mike Pence will publicly get the shot Friday. President-elect Joe Biden is expected to get the vaccine as early as next week.


Because Pence doesn’t do anything without his wife, Karen Pence (her real name is Karen, I’m not calling her a Karen), and Surgeon General Jerome Adams will also get the shot at an event Friday. And all of this seems really stupid.

The White House for months has been doing everything it could to make the White House the outbreak monkey house, including hosting maskless, superspreader events, is now going to host a vaccination station?


Whatever. It’s going to take a lot of convincing for me to get the first round of this vaccination. I’m not against vaccinations, but I’m against everything associated with this administration, besides stimulus checks. And it’s all just moving a little too fast for my liking. Now if Mike Pence gets the shot and becomes a normal, communicative human, who actually enjoys sex with his wife then I will consider taking the vaccine but not before Dec. 21 as I’m waiting to see what superpower I get. Also if you see a light-skinned man flying past your window, it’s just me working my UberEats superpower side hustle. Nigga, do you know how many orders I can pick up and drop off if I can fly?!

Biden’s going to take the vaccine, too. Hopefully, Kamala is waiting because I don’t think it’s wise to have both of them vaccinated at the same time. I’ve seen all episodes of 24 except the remake with the Dr. Dre Black guy so I know what hell I’m talking about.

“I don’t want to get ahead of the line, but I want to make sure we demonstrate to the American people that it is safe to take,” Biden told reporters earlier Wednesday in Wilmington, Delaware, NBC News reports. “When I do it, I’ll do it publicly so you can all witness my getting it done.”

Former Presidents Barack Obama, George W. Bush, and Bill Clinton have also volunteered to take the vaccine on camera to help build public trust and I’m going to need Obama to kindly take his name off this list. Surely, the doctor of housing, Ben Carson, would be more than willing to take his place.



Why does Pence need the vaccine? Pray it away like you tell the gays, or it ignore it like you did when HIV was running rampant in Indiana.