Photo: Michael Loccisano (Getty Images)

First lady Melania Trump never wanted to be here. She thought that she was marrying an old man with one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel, who not only keeps eating family-sized buckets of KFC original recipe but seems to be getting stronger.

But this is the life she chose and she’s not helpless. She’s complicit. For some reason, the heiress to the Temple of Doom decided that in the middle of everything else going on, she was going to bounce to Africa and dress like an extra in an Indiana Jones movie.

She literally went back in time and got all this early 1990s Banana Republic shit to wear on her trip and she looks like a goddamn colonizer. No one even knows what she’s doing there. Seriously, other than dressing like a Smooth Criminal what the fuck is she even doing there? Clearly, from her outfit changes, she believes that this foray to a “shithole country” as the old man holding her visa hostage calls them, was a modeling job. Maybe that’s what they told her to get her out of the White House.

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The only thing Melania knows about Africa is that Shaquille O’Neal is from there and that if you go, it’s imperative that you dress like an Englishman looking to steal diamonds from a mine.

Of course, the Internet had jokes because how could it not?

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Be best, Melania.