In the latest example of “the man” keeping a good Caucasian woman down, the family of an 18-year-old Georgia woman has asked the Trump administration to intervene in her unusually fair jail sentence for flouting COVID-19 protocols in the Cayman Islands.
Due in part to strict regulations (pdf) requiring all visitors to undergo testing, followed by a two-week quarantine period, the Cayman Islands has suffered only two deaths during the worldwide coronavirus pandemic. The rigid protocols and high testing rates have resulted in one of the lowest infection rates in the world, according to United Nations data.
But when criminal mastermind Skylar Mack decided to visit her 24-year-old professional jet-skiing boyfriend, Vanjae Ramgeet, Breakout Becky decided to disregard the country’s effective coronavirus control rules. Although I will always believe that everyone is a pre-med student who just hasn’t attended medical school yet, Skylar’s extensive medical training (she’s seen every episode of Grey’s Anatomy) informed her that she didn’t need no damn quarantine. In spite of the fact that she came to the Caymans directly from the country with the worst COVID-19 infection in the world, the college student decided to go to the jet-ski race anyway.
Mack, who is enrolled as a pre-med student at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia, arrived in the Cayman Islands on Nov. 27 and was supposed to undergo a two-week quarantine as mandated by the government, which electronically tracks anyone who arrives in the British Caribbean territory. However, she broke quarantine on Nov. 29 when her boyfriend picked her up to attend a water sports event, Hughes said.
After their arrest, a judge ruled the couple had to provide 40 hours of community service and pay a $4,400 fine. In addition, Ramgeet was ordered to a two-month curfew that would start at 7 p.m. But the prosecution appealed, arguing the punishment was unduly lenient and would not deter other possible violators. A higher court decided in favor of prosecutors, ruling on Dec. 15 that the couple be imprisoned immediately.
The Cayman Compass newspaper reported that Judge Roger Chapple said during Tuesday’s sentencing that the decision to violate safety measures was born of “selfishness and arrogance,” adding in its report that Mack spent seven hours out in public without a face mask or social distancing.
In an attempt to free Skylar (I have already ordered my T-shirt), attorney Jonathan Hughes has appealed directly to the Trump administration to get the Caymans to “send her back” on the grounds that four months in prison would have a “particularly harsh effect on her,” according to NBC. Of course, everyone knows that president “law and order” has a soft spot for women who don’t adhere to the customs of a particular nation. Especially the “shithole countries.”
Just as Trump asserted that “when the looting starts, the shooting starts,” the governor of the Caymans issued a statement effectively saying: “If a Karen won’t listen to me, I’ll send her ass to the penitentiary.”
When will the unjust oppression of privileged white women end? Skylar managed to pull herself out of the crime-ridden ghetto of the Atlanta suburbs and make something out of herself, only to fall prey to the racist “war on viruses.” It’s not like she was doing something dangerous like sleeping in her bedroom; looking out of the window or walking home with a pocketful of Skittles.
Who among us has never traveled to an island paradise during a raging, invisible pandemic and said, “Fuck these healthy people; my boo is about to go motorsurfing!” You know how it is when you’re young, dumb and filled with so much privilege that you threatened the life and safety of an entire country because you want to watch a bae frolic on jet-skis! As Jefferson said, all men are created equal and are endowed with the unalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of skedaddling on sea motorcycles. (That was the preamble to my homeboy Juwan Jefferson’s “Declaration of Deez Nuts.”) According to Skylar’s father, it’s obvious that someone has a “vendetta” against this “powerless” “American,” “teen” and “college student” who was the same age as “robbery suspect” Michael Brown and a year older than “weed, fight and guns” suspect Trayvon Martin when they got what they “deserved.”
If there’s anyone who understands what it feels like to be maligned for disregarding COVID-19 protocols, it’s the Trump administration. Hopefully, the president will save this poor woman from the coronavirus industrial complex. If poisoning people with stuff that came out of your mouth is such a heinous crime, why isn’t Anne Coulter in jail right now? You know what? I’m gonna go ahead and say it:
Skylar Mack is an American hero.
She’s the Kellyanne Conway of Amanda Knoxes. Wait until Rudy Giuliani hears about this. I’m sure he’ll file lawsuits demanding a recount of the judge’s verdict. Supreme Court handmaid Amy Coney Barrett would have gotten involved if she hadn’t heard that Skylar was reportedly wearing a thong. Maybe the people who bailed out Kyle Rittenhouse will put some money on her books.
Very few articles about the case have mentioned that Mack’s boyfriend has been incarcerated. But he’s not white so...you know. Even if this is the worst season ever of 90-Day Fiance, I think we can all agree on what’s important here:
Mack Lives Matter
Hold your head, Skylar.