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Joe Biden: Trump Is a Racist. Also Joe Biden: Desegregation Will Have My Kids Growing Up in a 'Racial Jungle'

Illustration for article titled Joe Biden: Trump Is a Racist. Also Joe Biden: Desegregation Will Have My Kids Growing Up in a Racial Jungle
Photo: BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI (Getty Images)

I’m not being flippant or facetious or any other f-word when I say that I really want former Vice President Joe Biden to shut the fuck up. If I say, “God is good—all the time!” I don’t want to hear Joe Biden say a fucking word. If I say “the roof...the roof..the roof is on fire….” I don’t want Joe Biden to tell me shit about the lack of water and how we’ve got to let it burn. If Joe Biden finds himself at a go-go and the lead talker asks the crowd, “Wa-Wa-Wa-Where y’all from?” I don’t want Joe Biden to say the street that he grew up on in Scranton, Pa.

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Seriously, enough with the Corn Pop stories and the fucking Black people-gaffes. Enough with the tales of him and Obama back in the good old days. As much as the right keeps blasting Biden for hiding in the basement, I’m totally fine with him hiding in a basement because when Joe Biden speaks he just fucks shit up.

Recently, Joseph Robinette Biden Jr., aka “Old Simba,” aka “Obama’s BFF,” aka the former presidential plus-one, Joe Biden, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, on Wednesday called Trump the first racist to be elected to the White House.

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I...Mean...I...Just...Can’t.

This is the part of the rap battle where J-Bizzy spits what he believes is a hot bar about Trump being a racist and waits for the crowd to go apeshit and no one does because it’s not a hot bar; it’s barely a lukewarm bar. It’s like a lower-than room temperature bar. Tap water bar.

J-Bizzle made the claim during a virtual town hall after a healthcare worker noted that Trump continues to blame Asians for the coronavirus pandemic, including stooping so low as to refer to it as the “China virus” and “the Kung Flu.”

“The way he deals with people based on the color of their skin, their national origin, where they’re from, is absolutely sickening,” Biden said. “No sitting president has ever done this,” he continued. “Never, never, never. No Republican president has done this. No Democratic president. We’ve had racists, and they’ve existed, they’ve tried to get elected president. He’s the first one that has.”

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Man, fuck Joe Biden. Biden continues to try and rewrite history as if his own fucked up racial past with Blacks in the country stopped when he became the vice president to America’s first Black man. America remembers, Joe. They remember how you let a group of white men berate Anita Hill during her sexual assault testimony in Congress and your shady-ass record with the crime bill. The North (well, Black people) remembers and I don’t have the energy or the bandwidth to go through all of it, but just know that we’ve not forgotten that Biden once claimed that desegregation would cause his children to grow up in a “racial jungle.” So, fuck Joe Biden, too.

But this isn’t about what Biden’s said in the past, this is about him needing to STFU.

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Biden continued: “And the way he pits people against one another is all designed to divide the country, divide people, not pull them together,” Biden continued. “Look what he’s doing now. He’s blaming everything on China. ... He’s using it as a wedge.”

See, Biden truly believes because he’s not as overtly racist as the current president, then he gets to sit with us. If Joe Biden doesn’t move his goofy ass over to the Dungeons and Old Niggas table. Biden is and has been Biden’s biggest problem.

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Let me put it in terms that could make it easier to understand: I was young, probably 19 and I was dating this girl and we were talking on the phone (well, I was talking on the phone and she was listening) and I was probably saying some stupid 19-year-old shit, and she interrupted me to say that I was talking myself out of a date.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is STFU.

America is going to vote for Biden—not because we like him, as I don’t know one person who is firmly in Biden’s camp—but he’s got to stop talking. It’s not as if Biden is pushing voters Trump’s way, but the more he talks, the more he’s creating apathy amongst voters who may just stay home because the difference between a full-size racist and a snack-size racist is a few calories.

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Trump isn’t the first racist to sit in the White House, as some presidents actually owned slaves. And while I know that Sen. Lindsey Graham is chained in the White House basement, I’m almost positive he requested that be done.

The only time I want Biden to speak is when he’s announcing his vice presidential pick. Other than that, just hide in the basement, Joe, until America is finished reluctantly voting for your racist-y ass.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

“voters who may just stay home because the difference between a full-size racist and a snack-size racist is a few calories”

Oh, man, don’t even joke with that “They’re both equally bad” crap....that’s how we wound up with Trump. I heard that from my own sister, who is otherwise sane, in 2016.

Yes, every time Biden opens his mouth I have to wonder if a gaffe is imminent. Yes, he’s possibly racist and sexist. But he’s nowhere near the hellish level of despicable that Trump is. And, most importantly, Biden will put together a good team, as opposed to the congealed sewage that is Trump’s collection of grifters and grafters.

This election NEEDS to be a blowout.  If it’s close, Trump will rile up his more militant followers.  If you’re voting 3rd party, you’re voting for Trump.  If you write in Bernie, or Kanye, or your mom, you’re voting for Trump.  If you don’t vote, you’re voting for Trump.