Kellyanne Conway, left, and her husband, George.
Kellyanne Conway, left, and her husband, George.
Photo: Matt Rourke (AP Images)

White House counselor Kellyanne Conway is Trump’s mouthpiece. She is a news outlet favorite because she can spin any Trump fuckup into a beautiful word salad of bullshit. It’s truly a skill.

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George T. Conway III is a prominent attorney and arguably Trump’s biggest adversary. He constantly trolls Trump on Twitter. He even co-founded a super PAC of Republicans that don’t fuck with Trump.

Kellyanne Conway and George Conway are married. Somehow, they make it work.

On Monday, the Lincoln Project, Conway’s super PAC that he formed with former GOP strategist Steve Schmidt, released a video that placed the blame on Trump and his staff for the spread and mishandling of the ongoing coronavirus outbreak. According to the Washington Post, the video called “Mourning in America,” a play on President Ronald Reagan’s famous “Morning in America” 1984 campaign ad, claims that Trump ignored the deadly virus, which has lead to tens of thousands of deaths.

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From the Post:

Considered a classic of the genre, the Reagan reelection ad showed happy prosperous Americans, smiling, going to work and getting married. It ended with the words: “It’s morning again in America, and under the leadership of President Reagan, our country is prouder and stronger and better. Why would we ever want to return to where we were less than four short years ago?”

“Mourning in America” is dystopian, showing dilapidated houses, a worried man in a hospital corridor, head in hands, a sick person being wheeled on a gurney, vacant industrial buildings, a man applying for unemployment compensation, crowds of Americans lined up wearing masks and scenes from a Trump speech.

It concludes with these words: “There’s mourning in America. And under the leadership of Donald Trump, our country is weaker, sicker and poorer. And now, Americans are asking, ‘If we have another four years like this, will there even be an America?’”

Well, of course, that pissed Trump off to the height of pisstivity. I have it on good authority (and by good authority, I mean my mind) the events that took place the morning that Trump realized the video that was going viral was about him:

Around 12:30 a.m. Tuesday, South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham was awakened from his slumber by the sounds of Trump yelling. Graham reportedly hopped from his youth bed, which is kept at the end of Trump’s sleeping coffin, and ran to get his lord a chalice or warm baby goat blood. Graham gave Trump the chalice, which he promptly poured on Lindsey’s head, who had already begun to bend forward for the morning ritual of Trump kicking his bare buttocks a minimum of 15 times when he realized his master was sullen. Trump was looking into his phone, seething.

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Around 12:46 a.m., Trump began firing off a series of rage-tweets attacking the Lincoln Project as “LOSERS” before going in on Kellyanne’s husband.

“I don’t know what Kellyanne did to her deranged loser of a husband, Moonface,” Trump tweeted, “but it must have been really bad.”

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And Trump didn’t stop there; he also called Conway a Rhino, which he misspelled as RINO, because Trump is a goddamn idiot who...

Managing Editor Genetta Adams: Stephen, I know that Trump has a spelling issue but “RINO” stands for “Republicans in name only.”

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Me: But what about his...his...coronavirus handling!? (slowly hangs up phone.)

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“Evan McMullin, whom Trump called “Evan ‘McMuffin’ McMullin,” is a former CIA officer who ran as an independent in the 2016 presidential election. “Reed Galvin” is presumably a reference to Reed Galen, a former Republican strategist and Lincoln Project co-organizer. Jennifer Horn is former chair of the New Hampshire Republican Party,” the Post reports.

Conway has been a consistent thorn in Trump’s side. He’s a contributing columnist to the Washington Post’s opinion section and most, if not all, of his columns have been about what a dumpster fire the president and his administration has been. The Post notes that Conway often describes him as fucking idiot who isn’t capable of running the show set for the Chuck E. Cheese robot singers.

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The Post notes that Conway had a field day dancing on the remains of Trump’s dumb-ass comments about the use of disinfectant to treat COVID-19 by injections and bringing light inside the body.

Before Trump’s latest Conway-rage, the last time Trump lashed out at Kellyanne’s husband was over a year ago, when he called him the “husband from hell!”—and Trump would know, considering his common-law marriage to Vladimir Putin, whom he affectionately calls, “Vladdy.”

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But the Lincoln Project was built for this. After noticing that Trump was up hate-tweeting, they sent him a nice message of their own: “Since you are awake and trolling the internet,” it said, “here is a little bedtime story just for you,” attaching the “Mourning in America” video.

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Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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