Illustration for article titled Everyone Can Relax. The White House Is Very Close to a Vaccine for...Ebola?
Photo: MANDEL NGAN (Getty Images)

The White House wanted to clear up a few things to set everyone at ease: First, whales are not mating with elephants so the reports of “whalephants” are false. Also, reports of quicksand deaths have been grossly misreported as the last person to die from quicksand was Wile E. Coyote. And, when the president said Tuesday that “we’re very close to a vaccine,” he wasn’t referring to the deadly coronavirus, he was referring to Ebola.

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Because that totally makes sense. Ebola, much like Pelle Pelle jackets and oversize fitted caps, was big years ago. But of course, the president would be talking about the deadly Ebola virus when countries are struggling to figure out how to fight the current scurvy outbreak!

But I think I know what happened. Most likely, when the president was talking about “the fast-spreading virus, which has killed more than 2,700 people and infected tens of thousands more, at a press conference during a state visit to India,” he lied and said that we were close to a coronavirus vaccine because he’s a liar who freestyles all his speeches and just says shit.

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From CNBC:

An NBC News reporter asked the president whether his administration’s response to the coronavirus squared with his criticism in 2014 of President Barack Obama’s handling of the Ebola outbreak.

“Ebola patient will be brought to the U.S. in a few days - now I know for sure that our leaders are incompetent,” Trump wrote in a July 31, 2014, tweet. “KEEP THEM OUT OF HERE!”

But Trump said Tuesday there was a “big difference” between the coronavirus and Ebola, which carried an extremely high death rate at its peak.

“We’re still working on Ebola,” Trump said. “We’re doing a vaccine ... we’re still working on that.”

With coronavirus, the death rate is currently closer to “1 or 2 percent,” Trump said.

“In the other case it was a virtual 100 percent. Now they have it, they have studied it, they know very much. In fact, we’re very close to a vaccine,” Trump said.

White House spokesman Judd Deere told CNBC later Tuesday that Trump “was talking about the Ebola vaccine.”

So you think the president was talking about Ebola, maybe, except the “U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced in December that it had approved a vaccine for the prevention of the Ebola virus,” CNBC reports.

Oh, Trump also claimed that the coronavirus threat was “down to probably 10” cases, when there are “currently 53 confirmed U.S. cases of coronavirus. Most of those infected people are repatriated from Wuhan, the epicenter of the virus in China, or the Princess Cruise line,” according to CNBC.

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Yep, the president doesn’t have any fucking clue what he’s talking about and he continues to be a global embarrassment.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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