Does Robert Mueller Have a Photo of Trump's 'Junk'?

Illustration for article titled Does Robert Mueller Have a Photo of Trump's 'Junk'?
Photo: Alex Wong (Getty Images)

On Thursday a Russian company told a federal court that buried in the mountain of evidence collected by special counselor Robert Mueller for his investigation into Russian collusion during the 2016 presidential election, there is a naked selfie.


Please, for the love of god let this not be a photo of President Mushroom Cap. No one needs to see that. No. One.

Thankfully, Concord Management and Catering did not provide the identification of who is depicted in the selfie, although the betting chart at The Root has heavy odds favoring the president’s Senior Policy Adviser Stephen Miller, who has no shame and literally went on national television wearing old squirrel fur as a hair piece.

Concord did question “whether there could be national security concerns related to such a holding.”

“Could the manner in which he collected a nude selfie really threaten the national security of the United States,” Concord’s lawyers ask in the filing, CNN reports.

From CNN:

Concord’s filing Thursday comes amid a drawn-out fight where the Russian company seeks to access what the Justice Department says is “sensitive” evidence in the case, which could reveal national security and American investigative secrets to powerful foreigners.

The company is objecting to Mueller’s request to share classified information with the judge that is kept secret and protected from Concord’s lawyers’ view.

Concord again argues that the special counsel has a “make-believe case” and says its opposition is “likely fruitless” but “object we must both for Concord and every other defendant to whom the Special Counsel believes the laws and rules of the United States no longer apply to his novel adventures.”

Recently, Concord asked the judge to allow it to share information US investigators uncovered in the criminal case against the Russians social media scheme with a prominent Russian oligarch and others who perpetrated the alleged crime. So far, the judge has kept locked down as “sensitive “evidence in the case, because prosecutors fear unveiling details of their ongoing investigation and of their investigative tactics.

The company says it needs to share the evidence, which consists of terabytes of data showing a Russian operation to post political propaganda on social media to manipulate American voters, in order to prepare for trial.

One of the company’s leaders is also indicted in the case but has not appeared in US court to enter a plea. Concord specifically asked to share the material with him, Yevgeny Prigozhin, who sometimes is referred to as Putin’s chef. The company also asked to show some of the evidence to individuals who wrote them, because it is written in Russian, and they say Russian is a complicated enough language that it would be better to have it translated by the people who wrote the words.


Now there is no evidence that Mueller has a dic pic of Trump. But The Root’s investigative team has a few questions:

  • There are only three kinds of selfies: Face selfies, full body selfies or close-up shots. But the picture isn’t described as “topless. “ If the photo is described as “nude,” then it has to be a dick pic, right?
  • To be fair, the shot could be of a woman. But Trump doesn’t have any women high enough in the administration to threaten national security interests, so we can safely assume that the picture features a Team Trump member’s member.
  • If making the picture public could raise “national security concerns,who else could it be but Trump? No one is going to war over Mike Pompeo’s nudes.
  • Is this what Putin has been holding over Trump’s head?

It seems fair to ask if there is a photo of Trump’s mushroom cap floating around the FBI office. Is that what Putin is holding over his head?


Concord has pleaded not guilty to conspiracy charges related to the social media scheme but admits that there may be a possible dick pic floating around. CNN notes that “thirteen other individuals and 2 additional companies are also charged in the alleged crime.”

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


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If he does have a picture it's probably on microfilm.