President Alex P. Keaton has noted (and by “noted,” I mean drilled the shit into our collective frontal lobes) that he’s home alone at the White House diligently working (and by “working,” I mean tweeting) by his lonesome without anyone else because that’s how committed he is to not fixing the issue he created when he decided to hold America at bay over money for his dumb wall that no one wants.
Like a divorced dad spending his first holiday alone, the president tweeted that he was in the Oval Office alone and if anyone wanted to bring him leftovers he’d love that because he’s alone.
“I’m in the Oval Office. Democrats, come back from vacation now and give us the votes necessary for Border Security, including the Wall. You voted yes in 2006 and 2013,” he tweeted — after deleting a prior version of the same tweet in which he claimed Democrats voted for a wall in “3013,” Mediaite reports.
“One more yes, but with me in office, I’ll get it built, and Fast!” He added.
According to the news site, several reporters called bullshit on the president’s tweet noting that because they’re actually at the White House, they don’t believe he’s actually there.
“The president just tweeted that he was in the oval, but no marine outside the west wing,” observed Bloomberg’s Justin Sink.
Playboy correspondent Brian Karem accused Trump of pushing “another lie,” noting that there was no Marine guard at the Oval Office doors.
New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman also joined the conspiracy theory mix noting, “POTUS tweeted earlier that he’s in the Oval Office. Per pool, as off [sic] 11 am there was no Marine guard outside the West Wing lobby, which there is when POTUS is in the Oval,” she tweeted.
But Associated Press White House reporter Zeke Miller spoiled the fun explaining that “Trump could still be telling the truth even without a Marine present, as security changes are sometimes made on weekends and holidays,” Mediaite reports.
But Brian Karem wasn’t buying any of it. An hour later, he tweeted: