Did He Try Craigslist? Trump Reportedly Wanted to Sell Puerto Rico

Illustration for article titled Did He Try Craigslist? Trump Reportedly Wanted to Sell Puerto Rico
Photo: MANDEL NGAN (Getty Images)

Trump is the dude who successfully sold three NutriBullets on eBay for a combined $15 profit and now wants to talk with you about your finances.


Apparently, the brilliant real estate mogul—who was gifted all of his real estate from his father, the actual real estate mogul—considered selling Puerto Rico in 2017 because it’s an island that he has little use for.

Elaine Duke, the former acting Homeland Security secretary, told the New York Times in an interview published Friday that the president wasn’t pleased with the way that Puerto Rico just stood there and didn’t move when Hurricane Maria was coming.

“The President’s initial ideas were more of as a businessman, you know,” Duke, who served as DHS’ acting secretary when the hurricane hit the island in September 2017, told the Times.

“‘Can we outsource the electricity? Can we sell the island? You know, or divest of that asset?’ (She said the idea of selling Puerto Rico was never seriously considered or discussed after Mr. Trump raised it.),” the Times notes. Probably because everyone just assumed he was joking, except the president is a damn idiot and therefore doesn’t have the mental acumen to make such a joke. He also reportedly asked everyone to raise their hand if they thought Puerto Rico was baller.

CNN notes that Trump’s history is pretty shady when it comes to the U.S. territory, which was devastated by Hurricane Maria in 2017. Apparently the president didn’t realize that he was also Puerto Rico’s president because of the many brown people living there free and unchained.


For the record, Puerto Rico didn’t receive $91 billion as that was the total amount of the damage done by Hurricane Maria. And never forget that while many Puerto Ricans were struggling to get back on their feet, the president went to visit and practiced his fucking jump shot by shooting rolls of paper towels into the crowd.


“Nearly 3,000 people died as a result of the storm and aftereffects, including widespread power outages,” CNN notes. But to hear Trump tell it, his administration had nothing to do with any of this as Trump has claimed that the death toll was a lie and that the handling of Hurricane Maria, was “an incredible, unsung success” last year.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


E=MC Hammered

He really is just the dumbest motherfucker on earth, isn’t he?